kebabski

ok so last night both sucked and rocked
i had an awesome time except for the fact that this stupid girl (who i'm really friendly with) was telling everyone how she was going home with a hot bartender. then she was like i'm so glad you and toby are having problems i'm going home with him tonight
hello and what the fuck
i asked him what his problem was and why did he so enjoy wasting my time.
he was offended at that and was like i've never wasted your time i liked you and you never followed it up. i gave him my number, i did ALL the calling and apparently he thinks that isn't enough. he kept trying to talk to me after i had a go at him and was like you're the one that didn't want to start anything so now i'm like OH MY GOD what a waste of 2 months. what a waste. i was so angry, not at her cos we both wanted him when he started working with us but he was all attention on donna so i can understand her skyting but its just not what i'd do
and god the way i found out how humiliating
at least now i know he's so not worth it but i was so upset and angry and in shock last night
phew
end of rant i hope
god he's so two faced. two ppl that i liked but i don't blame her. am i the only girl that is all like yay go the sister hood? it seems like everyone else is happy to fuck you over for anything. and she kept on talking about it TO ME and how it was so good we were over and stuff. fuck if i was a bitch this shit would never happen to me
end of rant i hope
still affected by it tho
but the rest of the night was good. i met this awesome guy i had the best conversations with just all night we stayed up talking (dude uni is gonna suck so bad) and i still haven't slept but he really likes me like full on thinks everything i do is fantastic. boy will he be let down once he sobers up. actually it was me that was drunk but whatever.
and adrian was like dude toby's an idiot i'd do anything for a girl like you.
ppl that held this same opinion and told me last night
Adrian
Dave
Joel
the new guy Jason
and Desanka but she''s my friend she has to say that stuff
oh well confidence TOTAL SHUT DOWN followed by confidence boost. why is it so much easier to be made to feel like shit than it is to be made happy?
every time i'd be like oh he's not interested and stop trying he'd put in effort, until i responded, then he'd stop, then i'd stop, endless cycle and then he goes home with a girl i thought was awesome. well she is awesome. whatever
i don't deserve this
at least i know i'm a good person
big sigh
i'm so lonely