kauzi

A simple question, asked innocently,
Why do you love me?

My throat tightens
I cant speak
I cant breathe
My heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest
My palms start sweating,
My knees are shaking
My eyes water
My whole world is out of balance, and wavering
Like the buzz from the first morning cigarette, I can hardly stand

Yeahthats why!...
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"The Empty Spaces"



Deep, dark and brooding,

always lurking near the surface.

Anger, despair and desolation

mingle together with misery.

A volatile mixture ever ready to bubble forth,

to envelop and destroy all it touches.

A stain on the soul,

A plague on the mind

A cancer in the heart

fetid, putrescence,

a pulsing malignant mass festering

within

gnawing on the marrow of life.



Over...
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" Hush"



What is the silhouette,Silent on the sheets?

Apparition?

I am mesmerized, Curious

Is this an emissary, Of memory?

-------

What is this reflection,

Silent on the glass?

Disenchanted

Illusions shatter

This is the full catastrophe,

Of love lost

-------

Her presence gone

Game On!
Thursday, March 29, 2012

Darkness,

Not even the sliver of moonlight

Noisy forest

Distant creek trickles

Silence!

Something's new

Footsteps.

RUN!

5,10,15,20

STOP!

Controlled breaths

Footsteps

There!

Eyes closed

Point

Pull

Release

Whistling feathers

Stopped short

Thump.

Silence.

Hunter becomes hunted

Cacophony of the forest returns

Nature approves!

Anger, Hatred

Jealousy,Fear

Pain,Anguish

Destruction

Sadness, Remorse

Hurting, Crying

Suffering,RAGE!

All because of stupid lies,

But how can I stop believing

the lies I tell myself!

panting,sweating,tired

I stand weary

but tonight i win

the demons inside retreat



sleeping, resting

i recoup

tomorrow is another day

more battles



never ending

forever i fight

each day the same demons

I created through life



someday darkness

what does it hold

more demons, more fights

or peace?

More sleepless nights in Afghanistan....no one on BBA....think I got chat to work sort of...

Hello! From Kunduz Afghanistan! Well I am finally here...and thank God! I still have SG! Cant chat, but at least I can still get to it! Hope all of you are doing amazing, I know I am! Let the adventure begin!

WOW! Where the hell have I been? Well looks like I leave for Afghanistan on Jan 1st...one part of me is like HELL YEAH! A new adventure! and the other part is...wow do you really want to spend a year half way around the world, in a strict muslim country, that hates Americans and wants us all dead? No alcohol, no naked women, have to...
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Another year gone...But this next one is going to be a wild ride!

Well looks like my next adventure will be as a member of a DOD civilian contractor team in Afghanistan...1 year to start...then we'll see.

I keep silent even when Im screaming inside
because the things that drive me crazy, I have no choice but to hide.