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Killer Biscuit Wanted for Attempted Murder (actual headline)
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws,
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the
windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the
back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while
became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa's
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.

He asked her if she was okay and Lisa replied that she'd been shot in
the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an
hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud
noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the
back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she
felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed
out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.