katrina

The Memoirs Of A Chinese Water Dragon

Dear world,

First off, I'm afraid I might have terribly overdone it with the title of this little piece. I probably won't have the time or strenght to write down my entire memoirs, but just a quick little note about my life. (I have to, for I am indeed in distress and I need a way to handle the terrible things that are happening to me).

First things first, who am I? You might all wonder, and rightly so. It is my understanding that you "people" usually frequent this so called "blog" to read about the daily life of this little goose that takes care of me. What a little tart she is with her silly human ways, her hair and her clothes, so obscessed about her own looks.

Where were I? (I am getting so suddenly upset these days, I am beginning to not know myself anymore).
I was a young and strong water dragon (Physignathus cocincinus for those less learned) once. I am not, ofcouse, really from China like my barbaric ancestors but from a place much better than that.
Oh, how green it was, how lush. How virile I was, and how young! Ah, a young dragon is naive but strong none the less.
I was the best hunter seen for miles! All the worms and crickets feared me, as they could never escape me.
I miss the good old hunt, I miss the strength in my legs and the quickness of my tongue.

Many a strange thing have I seen in my days. Such strange and alien things do not exist anymore. Believe me, youngling, the world is no longer what it once was. Dragons are not what they were once, and humans have turned out to be the most deceitful creatures that ever walked upon this earth.

You see, I have travelled a lot during my days, I have see a lot, I have. My childhood was rough, I'll admit to that (bit I was strong, and I survived it). I left my parental home in search for love and glory.
Many adventures and tales (that very well might be told, but not now) later, I ended up with this nice and lovely human girl who promised she's take me in and take care of me.
I had come to the autumn of my life, and all I wanted was to live it out in peace before the long, eternal winter would come and sweep me away.
Yes, she would take care of me, and she would let me lie on her neck and enjoy the warmness of her human skin. She would feed me and shower me with water. It was the perfect arrangement for an older gentleman like myself.

And so, what happens? The young fool falls in love! I do not blame her, the innocent, sweet thing for it was not her fault. Her heart is weak and tender and a man-beast put his claws and teeth into it and made her his prey. She could not herself see how fooled she was, what misery she was in. I was the only one who saw it, who understood it.

It become so very clear to me exactly how low she had fallen, when they decided to "move in together" in a new apartment that didn't allow pets. I'm hardly a pet, mind you! I'm a distinguished gentleman with my own personal, private life. If I may say something more to my defense, I am not a mammal! I do not have hair or acarina, I do not cause allergies.
I am so upset by the fact that they decided to leave me behind when they moved into their little "lovenest", I can hardly talk about it at all.
My sweet, human girl ofcourse had no intention of throwing me out on the street and so tried to find a new home for me. Sadly, she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, and so she decided to go with her "pet-loving, caring" former room-mate. What a mistake! What a horrible mistake!

What have I done, lords of the universe, to deserve to spend the last days of my life with this devil in human form? She is such a little monster, quite appalling.
She keeps this horrible beasts for pets (some pets, they're demons!) and I just know they want a nibble (or more!) of my cold, reptile flesh. I live in constant fear for these ghastly creatures. You should see their teeth, and the width of their jaws! It's such a horror!

She claims that my former companion (the lovely girl) has told her to feed me fruit as well as insects. Supposedly "older" water dragons should keep a somewhat more vegetarian diet. Ha! I'm not sure what she plans to accomplish with this trick, but she's not fooling me. Not at all, I tell you.

I do not have the strength to fight or run away. It's true that I an getting older and weaker by the day. I am getting tired from just writing this, now. I'll have to finish.
If some good-spirited soul out there manage to read this, I hope you can find it in your hearts to try and rescue me from this hell on earth.
You'll find me on the brownish branch, quite high up. The beasts are guarding outside my door, beware!

With my mind full of dreams of yesterday and my heart with hope for tomorrow, I'll bed you farewell for now.

Yours truly
Tingeling

PS I'll include for you a snapshot of my new "owner". I think her mental derailment is obvious by just a quick glance at her face: