Thursday Oct 18, 2007

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Ok.. so it looks like fall outside.. smells like fall.. and even sounds like fall.. so why the hell does it NOT feel like fall outside! It sucks.. Ugh.. I'm telling you..

So last week I started to get e-mails from someone who calls themself Jesus.. when I got my first one..I just laughed because yeah..it's funny.. but now I'm starting to get annoyed. I think I'm making Jesus mad..cause I'm replying to him..lol. The first e-mail said.."I am Jesus, God's only son" then the next day I got one that said " I am Jesus talk to me" then I've gotten a few that says "My child talk to me" and now Jesus is writing me and telling me to come back to him.. it's odd.. and funny..but it's starting to annoying.

I'm dog setting this weekend for my aunt.. I agreed to this..and then she tells me that the dog is a Newfoundland.. which are huge dogs..I HATE big dogs.. so I'm curious to see how that goes..she said I could stay at the house if I wanted too..but the house is huge...and I'll be alone..and I'll get scared..I'll scare myself I know I will!

Well heres and update on the guy situation.. I cried my eyes out!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Well he said he was sorry, and that he never wanted to hurt me, or break my heart. Which was nice, and I really needed to hear that. He also explained to me that the time wasn't right for him..to be with someone. At this point he needs to focus on his schooling. It has nothing to do with me. That means a lot to me. I told him we wouldn't be having sex anymore, and he understood.. he then said that I was one of the most amazing girls he had ever met, and that he knows someday he'll probably be kicking his self in the ass for not jumping at the chance to be with me cause he's not even sure if he's making the right choice now. He said that he thinks I'm beautiful, and that there is none else like me! I'm a one in a kind! Someone who anyone would be lucky to have, and that in the end it will be his loss for walking away, cause he knows that I could make him VERY happy! But at this time he needed to focus on himself, his goals, what he wants, and that as much as he would like me to wait, it's not fair of him to ask me to do so (I'm not really ready to move on yet.. ) He said t hat someday I will make some man very happy! He also said t hat he doesn't think he's the one for me. That there is someone else out there..whose better for me. So it was very nice.. sweet and kind and a hell of a lot better then being cut down, and made to feel like shit. I'm still hurt, and I still feel confused, and I'm still loney. However I've never had a guy say those things to me..and it makes my heart feel good that some guys sees the value in me, and sees past things that other don't. He seen my heart smile

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
gayballs:
goddammit i wish I had fall weather.


not being ready for a relationship generally means "i'm not ready and you're not making me ready"
avidity:
i'm so sorry that that guy is such a DICK. good call on the no sex anymore. but i still know how you feel. i'm sure we could exchange stories all night about guys who didn't see the value in us. you are amazing and i love you.

and soon...i will be there.....here's a pic muah!

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