and.. for the hell of it..
and here are the answers to my questons..
Ok.. ok.. so.. my day.. pretty active. Took my puppy to my nephews preschool for show-n-tell.. and she was s hit!! the kids loved her..and she loved them! It was so cute.. made me miss working around kids! Kinda wish to go back to it now! Maybe I'll just go ahead and apply for a postion at the center.. just to see what would happen.
I stuck around town.. watched the Lake House.. very good.. romantic, Pans Labyrinth..which was AWESOME!! and Californication.. which is actually really good and I now wish I had Showtime or was it HBO..either I wish I had both!
Monday I have to the pup to the vet for shots 
Poor baby.. and I start my new job on Tuesday!! YAY for me! I'm really exicted about that.. and this weekend I'll probably get to gether with some SG peeps and we'll probably go to Sonic.. cause I haven't been since the last time .. hahaha I'm funny I know. And there's talk of Foys.. a BIG halloween store!! idk though..I would like to spend tomorrow at home.. cause ghost whisper starts tomorrow..and I love that show!! I want to talk to the dead..that would be awesome!!
I have so many pics on my computer.. so many I've never showed..and I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with them.. cause I need to put them on a storage drive..and get them off my computer. I have NO privacy here.. when I'm not home.. my brother finds it OK to just come in and help himself to my room (which if I were to do that.. he'd have a cow.. but maybe it's differnt cause I'm single and sill at home with rents??? IDK) and I dont' want anyone whose eyes I don't want to see the pics stubble upon them! So I have to decide there.
So I heard from Chris today.. I haven't talked to him since the other day..when I left him hanging wanting sex..lol.. he's amazing.. he really is. If only I could make myself have feelings for him..it's just not there though. He's so understanding, and kind..and he really takes his time out to let me know that I'm speical, and beautiful to him..and that he cares.. he does it all in a friendship way..cause he doesn't have feelings for me either.. but we almost seem perfect for each other..but NOTHING is there..and it's so strange. Sex was probably most empty with him..and he's the one guy who I have had sex with that I didn't come out feeling used.. and like all I was.. was a fuck for him.. it's so strange and hard to explain.Why does it have to be so complicated? Why can't it be easy?
I'm starting to lose hope though. I'm somone who longs to fall in love.. but I'm looking around my life thinking to myself.. WOW I have no one! I'm tired of being alone.. and I'm tired of waiting!! I've been waiting for WAY too long..and I want it NOW!! I don't like to wait. Then I think of Chris and how we could be perfect..but he's not for me.. hell I don't think there is a one for me.. cause um.. he's not in my life?? Hello?? Anytime now.. dream man come!! lol.. I guess it kind of hurts too cause I had hope in Bill. It seemed like he cared and liked me..and then he got mean and rude toward me.. but before..when it was good.. I loved it.. I liked laying beside him, I liked dancing, I like kissing and it not leading anywhere but to more holding..I liked talking to him.. and I want that again.. not with him..cause he was really mean to me. He really hurt me.. more then I've EVER let on.. I don't EVER want to feel that kind of hurt again..cause it was intentional! Maybe I'm suppose to be single forever, cause it doesn't seem as though anyone wants me!
OK.. now I'm going to go..
I've been thinking about these things too.. here lately..I'm kinda in a frump
And don't get so down about finding your dream man. It'll happen. I think people put too much pressure on themselves to feel something when it's not there or to choose poorly because they want it so badly. You are just causing yourself unnecessary stress. You are an awesome girl...you have nothing to worry about.