I have come to some conclusions in my life ......
I hold my feelings in way to long and then I eventually freak the fuck out and let it all out at once and the people that are affected by it look at me like WOW crazy! I really need to work on being open to how I am feeling at the time I am feeling it. Cause when I explode like I did the other night and like I have on other occasions it is one big cluster fuck of crying and yelling and shutting down it really sucks. I mean it feels good to get it all out and express the stuff I have held in but it is just a huge mess and I cry so much it makes me tired. So all in all I just need to stop it and express how I feel when I feel it. Holding it in isnt the right way to go about it. If you cant tell I had a nervous breakdown to some extent the other day. It was all pointed towards the hubby. I told him how he has been making me feel the last few months and the things he needs to change or I am gonna walk. It was an emotional ride to say the least! But things have been better so far and we are working on it. I love him with all my heart. I have never cared for someone so much and he knows me so well , I swear I think he knows me better then I know myself sometimes! it is scary. I dont know how life would be not being with him that is scary. we have been together 10 years and married 2 and a half. It would be a huge life change. Dont get me wrong if it ever came to me knowing the relationship was over and not going anywhere and was in a bad place I would definately walk. I have to be happy and i want him to be happy as well. Which is what we are working on. We both dont believe in divorce.Before we got married we talked and said if I am gettting married I am doing it and it is for life not a thing of oh well I am sick of you and your shit i am done. We are in it for the long haul. I am one of those people that thinks everything can be worked out I dont give in easily. I am strong woman and I know myself and what I want though! I come from a family of strong willed and strong woman and I love that I am who I am.
Anyways enough with that!
I am off today and tomorrow. Today has been spent with the hubby and tomorrow I am hanging out with my sister. I always spend fridays with her and my nieces and nephew we have a ton of fun
I cant believe this year is almost over. It has flown by and it has been an eventful one. Some good and then a lot of bad but that is life huh!
Thanksgiving soon and I am looking forward to time with family and good food. My mom is such an amazing cook. LOL!what is everyones thanksgiving plans?
I am off to take a shower and cuddle with the hubby and watch some tv!
I hold my feelings in way to long and then I eventually freak the fuck out and let it all out at once and the people that are affected by it look at me like WOW crazy! I really need to work on being open to how I am feeling at the time I am feeling it. Cause when I explode like I did the other night and like I have on other occasions it is one big cluster fuck of crying and yelling and shutting down it really sucks. I mean it feels good to get it all out and express the stuff I have held in but it is just a huge mess and I cry so much it makes me tired. So all in all I just need to stop it and express how I feel when I feel it. Holding it in isnt the right way to go about it. If you cant tell I had a nervous breakdown to some extent the other day. It was all pointed towards the hubby. I told him how he has been making me feel the last few months and the things he needs to change or I am gonna walk. It was an emotional ride to say the least! But things have been better so far and we are working on it. I love him with all my heart. I have never cared for someone so much and he knows me so well , I swear I think he knows me better then I know myself sometimes! it is scary. I dont know how life would be not being with him that is scary. we have been together 10 years and married 2 and a half. It would be a huge life change. Dont get me wrong if it ever came to me knowing the relationship was over and not going anywhere and was in a bad place I would definately walk. I have to be happy and i want him to be happy as well. Which is what we are working on. We both dont believe in divorce.Before we got married we talked and said if I am gettting married I am doing it and it is for life not a thing of oh well I am sick of you and your shit i am done. We are in it for the long haul. I am one of those people that thinks everything can be worked out I dont give in easily. I am strong woman and I know myself and what I want though! I come from a family of strong willed and strong woman and I love that I am who I am.
Anyways enough with that!
I am off today and tomorrow. Today has been spent with the hubby and tomorrow I am hanging out with my sister. I always spend fridays with her and my nieces and nephew we have a ton of fun
I cant believe this year is almost over. It has flown by and it has been an eventful one. Some good and then a lot of bad but that is life huh!
Thanksgiving soon and I am looking forward to time with family and good food. My mom is such an amazing cook. LOL!what is everyones thanksgiving plans?
I am off to take a shower and cuddle with the hubby and watch some tv!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
giggles:
october went by super fast and now november is too
nikonphoto80:
thank you for your kind words, i'm sorry i didn't get back to you sooner, it has been a tuff month.