I really hate the position I am in.
I really hate that he even bothered to contact me again.
I don't understand why at the last moment just as you've almost forgotten that person forever, they run and leap and jump into your life again. Just to tear that band aid off again. To make the wounds bleed afresh.
He broke my heart when he left the first go 'round.
And now, I'm right back where I was with no idea if I will ever speak to him again.
I don't understand.
I want to hate him so desperately. But I can't.
If I were smart, I would stay away from him. If I were smart, I wouldn't even bother to think of him.
Well, I can't get him out of my head. So for all intents and purposes, lets say I'm not smart.
I want him.
And it hurts... physically and mentally hurts not to have him.
I'm having troubles sleeping and eating. I just don't feel like it.
I try not to think about him. When I do, I fight tears.
The holidays are coming up.
And it's only a reminder of how alone I really feel.
I saw Twilight.
Only made me feel even worse about being single.
My friend Aned and I discussed it:
pinkshock (2:13:22 AM): i just want a beautiful vampire obsessed with me.
iamkatescochlea (2:13:56 AM): yeah. me too.
iamkatescochlea (2:14:04 AM): ive wanted that since i was in 6th grade.
pinkshock (2:14:29 AM): i know
pinkshock (2:14:42 AM): we're hunting for men who dont exist
Writing and reading novels that include romance (almost every single one) really does spoil you for the rest of the world. I must be spoilt. I don't want anyone but one man right now. That I know of. If there is someone out there I am unaware of that I would want more, please step the fuck forward.
I'm a mess. I don't feel like doing this shit anymore.
Every new guy I meet... I don't even feel like it. I don't even feel like talking to them.
I don't want to even bother.
Fuck all of this.
I really hate that he even bothered to contact me again.
I don't understand why at the last moment just as you've almost forgotten that person forever, they run and leap and jump into your life again. Just to tear that band aid off again. To make the wounds bleed afresh.
He broke my heart when he left the first go 'round.
And now, I'm right back where I was with no idea if I will ever speak to him again.
I don't understand.
I want to hate him so desperately. But I can't.
If I were smart, I would stay away from him. If I were smart, I wouldn't even bother to think of him.
Well, I can't get him out of my head. So for all intents and purposes, lets say I'm not smart.
I want him.
And it hurts... physically and mentally hurts not to have him.
I'm having troubles sleeping and eating. I just don't feel like it.
I try not to think about him. When I do, I fight tears.
The holidays are coming up.
And it's only a reminder of how alone I really feel.
I saw Twilight.
Only made me feel even worse about being single.
My friend Aned and I discussed it:
pinkshock (2:13:22 AM): i just want a beautiful vampire obsessed with me.
iamkatescochlea (2:13:56 AM): yeah. me too.
iamkatescochlea (2:14:04 AM): ive wanted that since i was in 6th grade.
pinkshock (2:14:29 AM): i know
pinkshock (2:14:42 AM): we're hunting for men who dont exist
Writing and reading novels that include romance (almost every single one) really does spoil you for the rest of the world. I must be spoilt. I don't want anyone but one man right now. That I know of. If there is someone out there I am unaware of that I would want more, please step the fuck forward.
I'm a mess. I don't feel like doing this shit anymore.
Every new guy I meet... I don't even feel like it. I don't even feel like talking to them.
I don't want to even bother.
Fuck all of this.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
You undercut you argument as well, not all men suck or blow as you have found ;-) Just did not want to include that one part in praise of your words. Perhaps I parse to much... ;-)
-fb