karma

My grandfather is dying from cancer. At first they said he wont make it through the summer, but apparently he has "taken a turn for the worse" last night. So I went to jerzey to see him. He's lookin rough. I managed to maintain my composure for the sake of my grandmother, my mother, and my younger siblings. They are just trying to keep themselves busy not to think about it. But I can see it in my mom's eyes, she's having a rough time.

My great grandmom just had her 96th b-day last month. Its her son thats dying. God that must be hard.

I've never had any one close to me die yet. I guess I'm fortunate for that, but It sucks cause I dont know how to handle it. Especially sucky because I know my other grand folks are getting close too.

I'm not sad for myself yet, I just keep getting really sad for everyone else. My great grand mom, my grand mom, and my mom and her sisters. I can only imagine how hard it is for them.