karaokejihad

^shell of insect larva, bwca, mn


^not there anymore


^sculpture by henry moore, toronto, art gallery of ontario
toronto is the shit for those that haven['t been. i'd highly recommend checking it out, or becoming an expatriate there with me.



I have longed to move away
From the hissing of the spent lie
And the old terrors continual cry
Growing over the hill into the deep sea;
I have longed to move away
From the repetition of salutes,
From there are ghosts in the air
And ghostly echoes on the paper,
And the thunder of calls and notes.

I have longed to move away but am afraid;
Some life, yet upspent, might explode
Out of the old lie burning on the ground,
And, crackling into the air, leave me half-blind.
Neither be nights ancient fear,
The parting of hat from hair,
Pursed lips at the receiver,
Shall I fall to deaths feather.
By there I would not care to die,
Half convention and half lie.
-Dylan Thomas




i used to watch those new twilight zone episodes in my adolesence. they were pretty stupid, but i remember this one where this lady freaks out from being supermom and she screams 'shut up' really loud and it stops time all across the world. childish, but it's one of the days that i'd like to have that ability.

my gf came and stayed over last night. she had been out with some friends, and didn't want to drive home. god she was annoying. took both the pillows and the blanket, and just layed in the middle of the bed and said she wasn't moving. it sure wasn't cute, and i almost felt like pushing her on the floor. and she always asks to eat my last ramen, and only eats half of it.

my family keeps talking about all the shit going on, school shootings and meth, the war and all that other bullshit. god i'm so sick of people. i realize these are real problems, but i just can't stand it when people can't fathom that people are that fucked up. that whole thing in red lake: a native american hitler enthusiast shoots up a school. same newpaper articles about how he was into 'goth culture', random message boards on businesses about how sympathetic everyone is. it's sad. but it's more sad that this shit shows no sign of getting any better.

talking with my family about the whole schiavo thing, i heard that my grandpa's hospital bill was $400,000. he's dead now. he was my favorite grandparent, probably the favorite of all my family, but he was in ICU for months, and i got so sick of it. he was fucked up, and that's all you could say. prolonging that is selfish, ridiculous, sad, and apparently costly. man, his funeral was the toughest thing for me.

bitch over.



i used to dream about growing gills and swimming away never to be seen again. i'm an escapist. not like houdini though. your other left.

books to read:

1. the ultimate flower, miguel serrano

2. deadeye dick, kurt vonnegut

3. collected poems, dylan thomas

4. uhh.. more to come.



updateleedoo neighbor:



man i got wrecked last night(read:super blammo). first day of the smoking ban, so it was a little different. i smoke when i drink sometimes, but i honestly thought it was nice to sit in a smoke free room, and now that it's warm out, going outside wasn't bad. and i talked to this french girl who was really cool. so was her accent.

i went into a gas station this morning, and all the papers read "world prays for the pope". what exactly does that mean? ya know, i don't know if people forgot, but people do die. yeah, no kidding. sorry to be the bringer of bad news.
i'm not religious, but i'm thinking that if anyone's going to heaven, it's probably going to be 'his holiness'.

i couldn't find my keys this morning. i took me more than an hour to find them. and i live in a studio apartment.

went to the king and i restaurant a couple days ago with the woman. i told her i was feeling saucy (read: ready to get super blammo) , so we went out to get some food and drinks and stuff. i did what i was planning to do (read: super blammo) , and to be honest, we never have much to talk about with each other. so we talked some, drank a lot and went home and had sex. she's always leaving while i'm sleeping, but that's okay. anyway, she's always convinced that i secretly despise her, tells me that on the phone the next day, and since i don't explain myself to people, i really left her hanging on the reply.
you might get the impression that i'm a big dick, but quite the contrary. i've really enjoyed my time with her, and i don't like to hurt people, but i don't think i can stay with someone that seemingly hates everything, but can't stand the times that i do.
it makes me sad to think i may not get to do all the fun summer stuff with her.
and i'm constantly reduced to 'the different kid' or my interests are always referred to as 'that arty thing'

i talked to some art students at the bar last night. they were cool. one gave me her email addy, and i just might send her one. they were interesting people.
i also talked to our server after my friends left, prior to hanging with 'the arty kids'. she was a cutie too. i must've been a walking hard on last night. or just a boner.

happy spring everyone.


i like to fly kites. i also like to make kites. if you really want one, i'll make you one too.

more tales from the crypt:

i had a 'people suck' day. i rode my bike from my house by the cathedral to uptown and back yesterday. lots of fun, but my ass hurts.
this girl calls me up and tells me i'm a piece of shit because of some drama circle with her and her friends. a large scaled 'fuck you' to all of them. drama is the last thing on my mind. unless it's in a theatre. it still won't be at the front of the list then, but i'm not opposed. word?
the above statement has me wanting more friends. i'm sure we all get to that spot sometimes. so, here's to hoping that i find more cool people that i value.

^ native american pictograph in bwca. thought to be representative of a fish net or trap in a river. also thought to be bad form to take pictures of, but i figure compared to what lots of people do these days, it a: doesn't hurt anything, and b: shows something of beauty

hmm... i'm in a better mood than i was. is it all this pink? not that pink.