karamazov30

My first blog here for years maybe my last blog for good. I am supposed to end my subscription here. It has been an alright couple of years here but for the last year or two I quit trying to be active. And I have felt the need to go on in life and stop ogling online women and focus on ogling women much closer to me. Not that this is all this website is about but it is what I have done a lot of.

I also miss a lot of the suicidegirls who have been archived. Namely the great Feyne Cori and many more. I feel like time has passed and I am not passing so well with it here.

I will miss some groups here and out of respect, I will not name them except to say that there are a lot of strangers who rally behind other strangers and I think this renews my hope for humanity. It honestly does. A little push back against a tide of douchebags or other folks is all that it can take.

For those people who do not know, I am off to the central Californian coast in 2 weeks. Monterey, Big Sur, Morro Bay, Pismo Beach among others. I cannot wait. These are some of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen. By that time my account should be up, but maybe I can renew for a few months if I miss it here.

In September I am planning to visit Russia. I know it sounds silly to a lot of people but for me this is like visiting the edge of the earth. I have memories of growing up in the 80's worried about Russians and the Red Army. Thankfully those fears lapsed and a love for Dostoevsky, Lermontov, Chekhov, and other literary superstars has replaced that. My Russian is limited to a few phrases, the reader may imagine and giggle as they think of me trying to say some of the tricky Slavic words, it took me about 30 times to learn the Russian word for bread, or Khleb, for instance. But there I go.

My last and greatest challenge will be to figure things out with I. K. I think I've out myself into a bad spot with her. Maybe there is no way out and what we already had together is the best we will ever have. One half of me wishes not but lately, I am too tired to care. There are other women and maybe it works between me and one of them. I will have my first big chance when I am on my coastal trip. Wish me luck.

I am writing more and will see if anything is fit to be published. But if not, I will always write because at least through my pen, my world can be a little better or at least accept the things I cannot say to anyone else.

I am trying to get fitter, healthier, and be a good person. But I cannot say I will drink less. At least not yet.

So of this is the end, I wish everyone well with whatever they are doing and wherever they are going in life. Be good and help to make the world better, even if it is just a little.
-R