This weight is fucking horrendous.
A crushing presence.
The whole world collapsing around me.
Bear with me as I fall apart.
The mood is STILL here ugh, make it go away! I feel like such an emo kid. Kick me. It derails briefly when Im distracted but then it just comes right back. Events occurring dont help it any either, it sucks. Jason is making me crazy again. He randomly decided to start talking to me again and told me that the reason he only talks to me periodically is because he loves me a lot but it hurts too much to talk to me. Then he started talking about how I need to visit and saying that hed help pay for a ticket and such. He also said something along the lines of you are the only girl whos ever made me question whether or not I want to be with Tiff. Ugh, that makes me angry it irritates me so much that it just frustrates me to anger. Why is it that I always like boys who are involved with someone else, or boys that are involved with someone else (and theres no chance of that changing) like me?
I kinda moped around a bit yesterday and then decided to go out gallivanting haha. I called Myclit and Susan. We went and visited Sage at the Keavy mall and then went to eat at Cracker Barrel. It made me sick, I puked in the bathroom. There was a lady in the stall next to mine as I was praising the porcelin gods I considered grabbing her foot and scaring the crap out of her but then my food decided to expel itself from my body and I got a bit distracted. Yuck, I hate being sick. After Sarah got off work, we (Susan, Sarah and I Myclit didnt want to leave his bed cuz hes a loser face haha) went by Macys and grabbed the pumpkins and took them over to the Joshs (GASP! Could it be true?!) and carved them in their bathroom. We were going to be all slick and carve them and not say anything so itd be like who carved the pumpkins?! but Sarah carved a bat in hers (she LOVES bats) and I carved the Misfits skull (had to ghetto rig it with wire to keep it together haha) in mine so Im pretty sure it was rather obvious who carved them. Except Susans, shes all incognito. After we carved them, we took them back to Macys and dropped them off. So, all in all it was a pretty decent day. I freaked out some old man outside of Cracker Barrel we were sitting in the rocking chairs and there was a little one next to him so I said Im going to sit next to you sir and sat in the mini rocker
Weee ok, I started this post yesterday morning (I type em in Microsoft word and then post them when I get online). Yesterday was a good day. I decided I didnt want to go into work at 1a so I got Vicky to trade me shifts (kinda sucks because now I have to work a 16 hour shift tonight and miss out on playing volleyball but thats ok). Sarah and I went and got our hair cut hooray, I have my faux-hawk. Macy kept saying to use gelatin to spike it cuz itll hold really well so last night I let him do it for me oh man, he is sooo fired. Haha, he meant well. After we were done he decided hes supposed to coat his hands in the gelatin and let the chunks fall out of em and then style it John John just looked at us, giggled and shook his head the entire time. When it was finished it reminded me of Something About Mary crossed with a bad 70s porn or something. It held well, but it was all white with chunks haha Maybe if we dilute the gelatin more haha. Last night, since I was a slacker and didnt go to work, I hung out with Sarah, John John and Macy. We pretty much just sat around. Went to Wal Mart of course I think its impossible for us to get together and not go. We were going to get more pumpkins and carve them now that my dad hooked us up with pumpkin carving utensils but we decided we were too lazy. Played some Uno I lost as usual. I was going to go crash out at the Joshs but Josh was at work and other Josh was already asleep by the time we left Macys so I just went and crashed at John Johns. Good times he CLEANED HIS ROOM ahaha it was a DISASTER. Oh, and Myclit said it WAS obvious whos pumpkin was whos (who woulda thought).
Aaaaarrrrgh work has been stressing me out so much lately. The house I work at has 2 new individuals now, and they make me insane. I think I might just be getting burnt out. Im starting to not like my shift. I think Im going to see about getting switched to a different one, Im not sure. They are thinking about switching me to a different house soon because we are getting new individuals so a new house is opening up. I told them that theyll have to wait until my insurance kicks in so I can be medicated *lol* Oh well.
Now Ive seen the world through eyes of bitter hate and lies and now I cant stand what Ive become.
Was there something I missed?
Can your replay this kiss?
And the ghost sought by my side.
Im breathless and disconnected.
Take me home, so far away from here.
Take me slow, I cant stand one more year.
Take my breath away, wake me up today, I will return for you.
Take me home, so far away from here.
Take me slow I cant stand one more year.
Take my breath away, wake me up today, I will return for you.
~Aiden (Breathless)
Uhm I guess thats all for now off like a prom dress! XoXoX
A crushing presence.
The whole world collapsing around me.
Bear with me as I fall apart.
The mood is STILL here ugh, make it go away! I feel like such an emo kid. Kick me. It derails briefly when Im distracted but then it just comes right back. Events occurring dont help it any either, it sucks. Jason is making me crazy again. He randomly decided to start talking to me again and told me that the reason he only talks to me periodically is because he loves me a lot but it hurts too much to talk to me. Then he started talking about how I need to visit and saying that hed help pay for a ticket and such. He also said something along the lines of you are the only girl whos ever made me question whether or not I want to be with Tiff. Ugh, that makes me angry it irritates me so much that it just frustrates me to anger. Why is it that I always like boys who are involved with someone else, or boys that are involved with someone else (and theres no chance of that changing) like me?
I kinda moped around a bit yesterday and then decided to go out gallivanting haha. I called Myclit and Susan. We went and visited Sage at the Keavy mall and then went to eat at Cracker Barrel. It made me sick, I puked in the bathroom. There was a lady in the stall next to mine as I was praising the porcelin gods I considered grabbing her foot and scaring the crap out of her but then my food decided to expel itself from my body and I got a bit distracted. Yuck, I hate being sick. After Sarah got off work, we (Susan, Sarah and I Myclit didnt want to leave his bed cuz hes a loser face haha) went by Macys and grabbed the pumpkins and took them over to the Joshs (GASP! Could it be true?!) and carved them in their bathroom. We were going to be all slick and carve them and not say anything so itd be like who carved the pumpkins?! but Sarah carved a bat in hers (she LOVES bats) and I carved the Misfits skull (had to ghetto rig it with wire to keep it together haha) in mine so Im pretty sure it was rather obvious who carved them. Except Susans, shes all incognito. After we carved them, we took them back to Macys and dropped them off. So, all in all it was a pretty decent day. I freaked out some old man outside of Cracker Barrel we were sitting in the rocking chairs and there was a little one next to him so I said Im going to sit next to you sir and sat in the mini rocker
Weee ok, I started this post yesterday morning (I type em in Microsoft word and then post them when I get online). Yesterday was a good day. I decided I didnt want to go into work at 1a so I got Vicky to trade me shifts (kinda sucks because now I have to work a 16 hour shift tonight and miss out on playing volleyball but thats ok). Sarah and I went and got our hair cut hooray, I have my faux-hawk. Macy kept saying to use gelatin to spike it cuz itll hold really well so last night I let him do it for me oh man, he is sooo fired. Haha, he meant well. After we were done he decided hes supposed to coat his hands in the gelatin and let the chunks fall out of em and then style it John John just looked at us, giggled and shook his head the entire time. When it was finished it reminded me of Something About Mary crossed with a bad 70s porn or something. It held well, but it was all white with chunks haha Maybe if we dilute the gelatin more haha. Last night, since I was a slacker and didnt go to work, I hung out with Sarah, John John and Macy. We pretty much just sat around. Went to Wal Mart of course I think its impossible for us to get together and not go. We were going to get more pumpkins and carve them now that my dad hooked us up with pumpkin carving utensils but we decided we were too lazy. Played some Uno I lost as usual. I was going to go crash out at the Joshs but Josh was at work and other Josh was already asleep by the time we left Macys so I just went and crashed at John Johns. Good times he CLEANED HIS ROOM ahaha it was a DISASTER. Oh, and Myclit said it WAS obvious whos pumpkin was whos (who woulda thought).
Aaaaarrrrgh work has been stressing me out so much lately. The house I work at has 2 new individuals now, and they make me insane. I think I might just be getting burnt out. Im starting to not like my shift. I think Im going to see about getting switched to a different one, Im not sure. They are thinking about switching me to a different house soon because we are getting new individuals so a new house is opening up. I told them that theyll have to wait until my insurance kicks in so I can be medicated *lol* Oh well.
Now Ive seen the world through eyes of bitter hate and lies and now I cant stand what Ive become.
Was there something I missed?
Can your replay this kiss?
And the ghost sought by my side.
Im breathless and disconnected.
Take me home, so far away from here.
Take me slow, I cant stand one more year.
Take my breath away, wake me up today, I will return for you.
Take me home, so far away from here.
Take me slow I cant stand one more year.
Take my breath away, wake me up today, I will return for you.
~Aiden (Breathless)
Uhm I guess thats all for now off like a prom dress! XoXoX
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