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kalnaur

Member Since 2022

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I Have . . . Questions.

Aug 3, 2023
10
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So there are plenty of comments towards the models here (and people in general) that I totally understand; I understand if someone says that a person is pretty, or beautiful, lovely, fantastic, etc. I get more targeted compliments towards body parts as well. Sometimes breasts are just perfect, like sometimes a flower is just visually perfect.

The questions that I have are on the subject of "hot" and "sexy". If you say a person is "hot", are you simply using that as a synonym for looking nice, like pretty or beautiful? Or is there an actual temperature component to it? Do you actually feel warmer? Or is this a figurative heat of some kind?

Similarly, when you use the word "sexy", do you mean "literally sexually appealing to me" or do you just mean "looks really good"? Is there a definite sexual component to using the word sexy for you?

As most people who read anything on here about me knows, I'm aroace, and the reason for these questions is that I always assumed these were intensifiers for how someone looked, not a descriptor for how they made the speaker feel. But when I found out I was ace I started to really think about the words I use (well, I've always thought about the words I use, but I mean the words I use as a descriptor for people), and didn't feel like "hot" or "sexy" were accurate for me to use because, well, by their definition they attribute at least part of their usage to describe a thing I don't feel. I don't feel an increase in body temperature looking at people, nor do I look at people and think of them physically, sensually attractive (aesthetically, thought, for sure feel that). But I see them used so constantly I'm truly interested if these are in fact used as simply intensifiers for the appearance of someone, or if they also carry a true definition of how you feel looking at the person you're using them for.

So my thanks to anyone who actually takes the time to answer this.

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kalnaur:
@fredhincanada, I find all of this topic fascinating. For me, there's usually no sexual component to explore, nor something that hits my desire button(s). I could use either descriptor for my wife, but thus far she's the only one, and it's not specifically something I see of her, but what I see in her. Who she is, not what she looks like. And she's the only one who even eventually hit those thoughts for me. She's pretty to me as well, but that's beyond the point I think.
Oct 18, 2023
tintanankin:
I completely agree, and even if I'm dating someone who tells me that, I ask them to explain to me why they're saying that "What *hot or sexy* means for you? why do you think I'm this?"  I personally prefer compliments that refer to my personality (although because I'm a model unfortunate most of them talk about the physical part) maybe because demissexuality? idknow xD
Nov 26, 2023

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