I hate being poor.
I dont mean that I hate being poor in the I wish I could go out every night of the week and party like a rock star, because, well, I can, and do. And I have a house, and a vehicle, and all of my other basic needs covered.
I guess it would be more accurate to say that I hate being poor-ish.
I hate having to choose between eating and razor blades.
I hate having to consider whether I can really afford new socks.
I hate that I never travel, never have a vacation.
I have peers who own clubs, houses, companies; friends who have investments, and securities, and security. I have friends who buy motorcycles because they want one, not because they cant afford the gas a car would eat. I havent eaten three meals a day since I left home when I was fifteen, and I have friends who own stoves that are as expensive as my bike.
I left home when I was fifteen, and dropped out of high school at the same time. Ive worked some of the most hideous jobs, and in the beginning I was unemployed more often than I had a job. Ive fought, every step of the way to earn more, deserve more, have more; and Ive gone from selling porn on the graveyard shift to managing a call center in a law firm in Marin County.
And every step of the way, when I was given the opportunity, I raised my standard of living. For years, I was practically couch surfing, barely paying rent in half-finished warehouses, living in friends available rooms, having to move once they found a roommate. Ive lost teeth because I had to choose between rent and a dentists bill; I havent been to see a doctor in four years.
But now I have a house, and a vehicle, and all of my other basic needs covered.
Im not poor; I know better than to think of myself as poor. Poor is the guy we all pass and dont give a quarter to, or do. Poor is physical desperation; being balanced on the edge of life and death. Ive been poor, and because I didnt like it, I busted my ass not to be, and made a crepload of compromises to do it.
So I know Im not poor.
Im poor-ish. Poor-ish is a long slow grind where you dont have to worry about your stomach, but the financial restrictions placed on your life grind away at your soul.
This has to change.
Make it stop.
I dont mean that I hate being poor in the I wish I could go out every night of the week and party like a rock star, because, well, I can, and do. And I have a house, and a vehicle, and all of my other basic needs covered.
I guess it would be more accurate to say that I hate being poor-ish.
I hate having to choose between eating and razor blades.
I hate having to consider whether I can really afford new socks.
I hate that I never travel, never have a vacation.
I have peers who own clubs, houses, companies; friends who have investments, and securities, and security. I have friends who buy motorcycles because they want one, not because they cant afford the gas a car would eat. I havent eaten three meals a day since I left home when I was fifteen, and I have friends who own stoves that are as expensive as my bike.
I left home when I was fifteen, and dropped out of high school at the same time. Ive worked some of the most hideous jobs, and in the beginning I was unemployed more often than I had a job. Ive fought, every step of the way to earn more, deserve more, have more; and Ive gone from selling porn on the graveyard shift to managing a call center in a law firm in Marin County.
And every step of the way, when I was given the opportunity, I raised my standard of living. For years, I was practically couch surfing, barely paying rent in half-finished warehouses, living in friends available rooms, having to move once they found a roommate. Ive lost teeth because I had to choose between rent and a dentists bill; I havent been to see a doctor in four years.
But now I have a house, and a vehicle, and all of my other basic needs covered.
Im not poor; I know better than to think of myself as poor. Poor is the guy we all pass and dont give a quarter to, or do. Poor is physical desperation; being balanced on the edge of life and death. Ive been poor, and because I didnt like it, I busted my ass not to be, and made a crepload of compromises to do it.
So I know Im not poor.
Im poor-ish. Poor-ish is a long slow grind where you dont have to worry about your stomach, but the financial restrictions placed on your life grind away at your soul.
This has to change.
Make it stop.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
oh what a world. Ive been poor, and now up to poorish as well ... just working to make dues. Alwyas a few days late on the rent.
Whatta world .. when these are the best days of our lives.
As for sensual dining experiences .. I honestly couldn't tell you. Never been out to a sensual dinner.
Viva la Undead.
when actually to me it seems like you have a choice ... live it up, or work for a future.
You can rest when you dead -- so to speak.
Then again, your talking to a workaholic. ^.~* I have such a hard time relaxing ... I get nervous. I should be doing *something*, being productive somehow, creating someTHING.
I have a hard time just .. letting go, and enjoying.
Ha .. bleeding ulcers at 18, Ive got a bit of the fire, yes. =p Stress fire. heh
yes yes, how I love the word *more*.
Give me. I will take. I want. I will have.
(more) -- always.