Hi guys! How are you doing so far in 2020?
I’m currently doing fine, let's hope it lasts LOL
I have so many questions for this upcoming decade, but the most mind boggling one is: Will I ever feel like an adult?
This upcoming decade feels much more significant for me than the past two decades I lived. I'm leaving my 20s behind this June, and I don't know for sure how I feel about it.
Sometimes I feel so old and other times I feel like a helpless kid. Any of you relate to this feeling?
I feel old because my body ache, my mind is tired and I feel like I have more limited paths to follow. But I feel like a kid, because, more than fair I feel like I don't know what I'm doing at all, if what I'm doing is leading me to a real place, or even if it's the right path. But I guess those are things I will never be sure about.
"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience" - Frank Herbert, Dune.
The only thing I can say for sure is that the past decade were crazy. Here’s a little timeline of events:
2010: I went to journalism school and dropped out.
2011-2012: I studied photography.
2013: I had my first job as a photographer and photo editor and started studying cinematography.
2014-2015: It's a bit blurry, but I dropped my job to become freelance, did many odd photography jobs and earned little money, met a bunch of new people, got a bit more confident in my work.
2016-2017: Same as previous but I also began shooting sets for SG!
2018: I started a collective project with a friend from college.
2019:
- I moved houses and started paying rent for the first time in my life.
- I travelled to L.A for 5 days, and to Japan for 30 with 36 hours to spear in Chicago on my way back home.
- I had an emotional breakdown in July.
- My collective project got selected for public funding.
- In November, my mother moved back to Brazil from Japan, and is now living with me for the first time in 15 years.
Now… To the new decade:
What I look forward to the most out of the new decade is to be more creatively in control of my art, to work in more meaningful and fulfilling projects and to start directing videos and films.
I want to take more care of my body and mind, to be more open to experiences, even the uncomfortable ones. To go out more, to travel more and to be more present in the things I do. I want to remember to be grateful for the good things that come my way, but also for the bad but needed lessons. In sum, during my 30s, I want to work towards becoming an accomplished adult.
I hope all of this is possible. Let's see what happens.
Hope 2020 treats you well.
xoxo,
;)
PS: A few old blogs to get to know me better:
MYSELF IN 3 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
@rambo @missy @eirenne
