Well i suck big time..
I got this great man, and i freaking cheated on him. Nothing too serious.. I mean.. serious enough, but no actual sex was involved..
Now he's all concerned that I'm going to do it again. And I can't honestly say that it will never happen again.. I have cheated on every man I've ever been with.. So who's to say that I'm not just a fucked up person.. ya know? I mean .. I am.. i'm really messed up in the head. I have been so down on myself lately and now that I actually feel good about myself I go and hurt the person who helped me get that way. I suck big time.
OH well.. he says that he'll give me a chance to make it right. To prove that I wont do it again. I told him that if it ever happens again, i'm not going to give him a chance to forgive me. I'm going to just leave, cause I'm not going to treat him like he's worthless just because my head is messed up.
He means the world to me, and how I could do that to him is beyond me. It doesn't make any sense.. well it isn't logical. Why hurt the person who's good to you? *sighs* I don't know.. I dont' know..
I got this great man, and i freaking cheated on him. Nothing too serious.. I mean.. serious enough, but no actual sex was involved..
Now he's all concerned that I'm going to do it again. And I can't honestly say that it will never happen again.. I have cheated on every man I've ever been with.. So who's to say that I'm not just a fucked up person.. ya know? I mean .. I am.. i'm really messed up in the head. I have been so down on myself lately and now that I actually feel good about myself I go and hurt the person who helped me get that way. I suck big time.
OH well.. he says that he'll give me a chance to make it right. To prove that I wont do it again. I told him that if it ever happens again, i'm not going to give him a chance to forgive me. I'm going to just leave, cause I'm not going to treat him like he's worthless just because my head is messed up.
He means the world to me, and how I could do that to him is beyond me. It doesn't make any sense.. well it isn't logical. Why hurt the person who's good to you? *sighs* I don't know.. I dont' know..
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Everybody has been there. We've all made mistakes.
You just have to get over it and get on with it.
Sure your bloke will forgive you if he really loves you.
[Edited on Oct 30, 2003 10:44AM]
[Edited on Oct 30, 2003 10:45AM]
It would be lovely to hear how you are, it's been too long since you updated your journal.
Hope you are well.