Since December my life has been going on a downward spiral. My father lost his battle with cancer. I notified my employer that he wasn't going to make it through the weekend. His reply to that was, "does that mean you won't be here on monday?" So he pretty much fired me on the spot. We didn't have enough money for Christmas but we made it happen for my daughter. Few months later my wife and I seperated. After a month of separation she met someone. After 9 years of marriage ,14 years of friendship and the mother of my child was wrote off like it was nothing. I since than have been in the hospital three times this year and it even led to me attempting suicide. I slit my wrist. I went outside to bleed out and it just so happened a deputy drove by and saw me there standing.
I realized while I was committed that I have to think of my daughter. My illness sometimes doesn't allow me to. I was doing good. Than well I signed up Keeley for school. She's going to preschool. We my ex was there with her new boyfriend. It hit me hard afterward. The way she was looking at him. Wishing she still looked at me that way. I held it together for Keeley.
Sometimes I think it's harder doing the right thing instead of doing the wrong thing. I want to move to anothere state but at the same time I don't want to leave my kid. I feel like I can't move on here. Like I'm doing the time warp again!!! I don't know what to do sometimes. I just feel stuck. Anyway, sorry for being the Debbie downer here. I just needed to vent. Thank you SG for your live feed. Skella made my day yesterday.
Love you guys
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