kaise17

i just hit 24 hours of being awake. i know that's nothing impressive and i've done much worse, but i've had no reason to be up that late. Ah well i'll go to sleep after i see the watchman with my brother (the stockier guy in the white suit) . It took us almost 22 years, but we're sorta bonding now.


Edit: Watchmen was a fantastic movie and i have this feeling that of all the people that go expecting to see a batman/superman type of film will be in for a surprise. It was a truly great movie in my opinion. On a lesser note it was nice to go see a movie with my brother, but as much as i love him as my brother it feels like knowing a stranger. I can tell he's worried about me and he's right. I'm disconnected from people and it's getting worst. I feel really out of place since leaving the military. I think about going back and going for another tour, but i can't go down that road. I know what waits for me there. All the roads i'm taking seem foggy and faded and the one road which seems to be the most well lit is also the worst possible one i could ever think of. I know this world isn't a bad place, but it's hard to find a place where i really belong and feel safe. I'm scared...I'm scared of living. It's easy to die, hell after a while i was always expecting it and at sometimes hoped for it. I had urges to inflict it on others, friend and foe. I tell myself that hardest choice is usually the right one, and living is that choice. I am not emo....just honest.