kaise17

Well it's 1 week til my birthday and i'm not really excited about it. Its my 2nd one in a foreign country and worst of all when i get home i've got no reason to celebrate it or any future ones. My birthday will never be the same again because it was never just mine. From as far back as i can remember i always would celebrate with my grandmother, we were born 1 day apart and i always felt closer to her because of that. I'm not gonna be able to do that anymore. Sadly this past November she passed away and our entire family was devastated by the loss. She kept us together through the worst times and everyone looked to her for guidance. I wasn't there with her in the last moments though i wanted to be, and i almost missed her funeral because of training. I fought that and won. I participated in the funeral as we laid her to rest, but i've never been so hurt in my life or saw how much strength my mom has. I miss her everyday, and i wish i could've done things differently. I should be happy i'm still alive, and 1 year older and wiser, but i don't think i can have a party with my family or friends because she won't be looking across the table from me as we blow out our candles. If i could go home and spend the day at her grave i would and i'd tell her all i've done and plan to do, but i can't. She always reminded me how proud i made her and how much she worried about me. I wish i had one last chance to tell her how much i loved her and that i was proud to be her grandson.

Happy Birthday Grandma

Summer Trip
"I got no rudder. Wind blows Northerly, I go North. That's who I am."