Ok I think it's blog time!
First things first, yes it's officially I am being forced to leave the UK and move back to the States where I will live with my parents in Massachusetts till I sort myself out financially and maybe a little bit emotionally too.
This has all taken quite a toll on me, I didn't want to leave the UK and I tried my damn hardest to stay, but the time to cry is over and the time to pick myself up and move on is coming.
I've sold pretty much everything I own, and am using this money to travel to parts I felt silly having lived in London for three years and not seen, Wales - Scotland - and Paris! This does however come with some sadness, I know it's material but it's hard. When I moved to the UK originally I packed two bags of everything I owned and left everything else at my parents! Then as many of you know my parents house burnt down and everything was gone... over the three years I've lived here I've accumulated quite a lot of stuff and it makes me sad to know I'm not going home to the stuff I left, but am again designated to the two bags of everything I own. Many things are hard to get rid of but at the end of the day it's stuff. I'm struggling most with books, I've read tons, specially books about suburbia for my dissertation. I loved these books and I learned tons from them, but realistically they're far to heavy to send, books aren't very expensive, they are cheaper to sell and rebuy in the states. But when am i going to have enough money to justify buying books that I've already read, just so i can have the books I love?
I guess that's the thing, I've been so stressed, theres so much on the back of my mind that all these little things on the front of my mind throw me over the edge. At the end of the day this isn't about books, it isn't about material possessions, this is about giving up the life I had worked so hard for, and the potential loss of everything I've worked for towards my dreams to be gone. I'm not sure what it will be like trying to continue my architecture degree in the states, between the economy and my non recognised certification I can only hope at this point.
Hope with me, because I've been feeling awfully alone.
First things first, yes it's officially I am being forced to leave the UK and move back to the States where I will live with my parents in Massachusetts till I sort myself out financially and maybe a little bit emotionally too.
This has all taken quite a toll on me, I didn't want to leave the UK and I tried my damn hardest to stay, but the time to cry is over and the time to pick myself up and move on is coming.
I've sold pretty much everything I own, and am using this money to travel to parts I felt silly having lived in London for three years and not seen, Wales - Scotland - and Paris! This does however come with some sadness, I know it's material but it's hard. When I moved to the UK originally I packed two bags of everything I owned and left everything else at my parents! Then as many of you know my parents house burnt down and everything was gone... over the three years I've lived here I've accumulated quite a lot of stuff and it makes me sad to know I'm not going home to the stuff I left, but am again designated to the two bags of everything I own. Many things are hard to get rid of but at the end of the day it's stuff. I'm struggling most with books, I've read tons, specially books about suburbia for my dissertation. I loved these books and I learned tons from them, but realistically they're far to heavy to send, books aren't very expensive, they are cheaper to sell and rebuy in the states. But when am i going to have enough money to justify buying books that I've already read, just so i can have the books I love?
I guess that's the thing, I've been so stressed, theres so much on the back of my mind that all these little things on the front of my mind throw me over the edge. At the end of the day this isn't about books, it isn't about material possessions, this is about giving up the life I had worked so hard for, and the potential loss of everything I've worked for towards my dreams to be gone. I'm not sure what it will be like trying to continue my architecture degree in the states, between the economy and my non recognised certification I can only hope at this point.
Hope with me, because I've been feeling awfully alone.
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PS.
HOW expensive is it? i'm a big fan of books mahself.