3rd year Architecture school.
I can't believe I'm in my final year of Architecture School (Part1) I'm nervous scared and excited but most of all I'm stressed. I'm so stressed. I'm stressing over every single drawing, every design choice, and where I put that one particular line that the tutors don't quite like there. I'm stressing about group work, being a student representative, trying to network so I can hopefully get a job at one point, and money. For the past three weeks I've spend 12 hours a day in Studio, and It will stop on Friday, where I'll have about a week, or at least the beginning of it to stay home, then it's back to 12 hours a day. And some how in all this work, all this effort I'm still behind. My dissertation is falling behind, my architectural diary is more like 5 pages of some drawings i did at one point, I'm missing key points in my portfolio like a section of the entire site, and site plans that the tutors don't find highly offensive. I feel like I'm working myself to the bone and it's not good enough. and to top it off I feel bad because I'm ignoring you. I'm ignoring friends, family, those I love and the second I spend a bit of time talking to you guys I feel an extreme guilt, but I feel guilt if I don't. I wish there was a way to just say I love you all, please just let me finish architecture school and stop being so mad at me all the time for ignoring you, and for you to believe it.
I'm tired.
I can't believe I'm in my final year of Architecture School (Part1) I'm nervous scared and excited but most of all I'm stressed. I'm so stressed. I'm stressing over every single drawing, every design choice, and where I put that one particular line that the tutors don't quite like there. I'm stressing about group work, being a student representative, trying to network so I can hopefully get a job at one point, and money. For the past three weeks I've spend 12 hours a day in Studio, and It will stop on Friday, where I'll have about a week, or at least the beginning of it to stay home, then it's back to 12 hours a day. And some how in all this work, all this effort I'm still behind. My dissertation is falling behind, my architectural diary is more like 5 pages of some drawings i did at one point, I'm missing key points in my portfolio like a section of the entire site, and site plans that the tutors don't find highly offensive. I feel like I'm working myself to the bone and it's not good enough. and to top it off I feel bad because I'm ignoring you. I'm ignoring friends, family, those I love and the second I spend a bit of time talking to you guys I feel an extreme guilt, but I feel guilt if I don't. I wish there was a way to just say I love you all, please just let me finish architecture school and stop being so mad at me all the time for ignoring you, and for you to believe it.
I'm tired.
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It's not that I'm trying to be an asshole, but somehow I already know what they're going to say and it irks me. I don't know why but it feels like people think I'm an idiot... which is probably also what I think they are too...