kahlua

sounds like progress.

that works for me so u got a deal

Thats great sweetheart..you should be young and have fun...Have fun for me to ok, and maybe someday I might want to keep going on as well...

What I was trying to say with the "20 yrs isn't long" thing was actually kind of the opposite of what I think you thought it meant. Despite what has happened in the past, this is the time when people usually, but not necessarily, start to find and understand themselves and grow as a person more than they ever have before. I mean, high school was just a couple years ago. So what I was trying to say is NOT to give up because you should hopefully still have a long time ahead of you to find love, understanding and connections with other people. With today's life expectancy, you've lived less than a third of your life, and with most of it being your childhood. Soooo I hope that's clarified? That was actually supposed to be more of a hopeful comment. more of a "don't give up, you'll figure it out" kinda thing. uh. but I guess that failed.

The thing is that I REALLY do not know you that well, so you should probably take whatever I say with a grain of salt. There are LOADS of reasons that spring to mind about why you may feel the way you do. and the fact that, well, I don't really know you that well, or at all, forbids me to eliminate many of the possibilities. You're right about dna not necessarily making people family. so perhaps you can blame your parents. I do think that people can go through life without ever loving. but maybe you feel the way you do because you've never truly opened yourself and made yourself vulnerable to other people. maybe you don't associate yourself with the kind of people who would open up to you. You say that you've never loved, okay, but that you've never BEEN loved? I find that highly suspect, but I guess it depends on what KIND of love you're talking about. There are many different types of love, some that are destructive and false and forced upon us by our culture.

A good chunk of love has to do with willingly opening yourself to the point of being vulnerable and dependent and having expectations and trust; if those are things you have a problem with then that could be a part of your dilemma. If not, then you just haven't found anyone yet who is worthy of your love.

but once again, the reason why I was doing the "throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks" thing is because I just didn't think I knew you well enough to give really accurate advice. which is why you should take what I say with a grain of salt. but I thought that maybe I could do some service, so I thought I'd give it a try. Perhaps, because of your unfamiliarity to me, I shouldn't have said anything. And if that is the case, then I really really am truly sorry for saying anything at all and making you feel more shitty than you already do. but if anything, I'd say not to give up. so yeah. sorry.

awesome. i like it a lot. and I know how you feel on the hugs and kisses shit, it sucks when you are so damn used to it and then they go away, it can be a bit of a bummer, especially those moments when you really need them. I used to have a really good friend who basically whenever we were together, we would chill on the couch and watch a movie, and cuddle. it was nice, I dont think I ever reallized how nice it was. but then I moved away, and haven't found anyone like that again, accept for girlfriends, but dont got one now so a lot of good that does me. anyways, nice pic.

I once had an exchange about how we all need hugs; kind of like a vampire needs blood. It becomes a hunger. The hunger is kind of like heartache but deeper. You know? it gets in your heart and your head. And you're suddenly nothing but a little curled up ball of sad. All I know is that sometimes emotional vampires have to go a long time between these bittersweet meals but they always come around.

as far as rivals go, I try to not associate myself too much with Kamiak especially since it has been 6 years since I went there, and the place fucking sucked. but yeah, hope you are feeling better, sorry you halloween sucked, I won sexiest costume at this big costume party in seattle at Ohanas, it was because I was showing off my ass i think.

Portland is full of friendly people.

That sux that you're sick. If only there was a chicken soup smily.

I spent halloween alone at the movies. I saw SAW II. I'm scared now.

solid reason:

Cause if you don't........... Maaaaallet!

You don't have to feel sad..at least you have people out there that want you around in their lives..you should keep smiling cause your not completely alone..
Thats a luxory I'll never have..least you have that..and thats reason enough to keep smiling..So Smile.

I miss you..you don't miss me I know..thats ok..I'll still be there trying to make you keep smiling until you throw me away.

Happy Halloween..Now go trick or treating ha ha..

Happy Halloween!!!

Ha Ha Ha The poor little guy...did you say you were sorry? lol...

Was that a glove? Or an elephant?

Good point(s). It's more that it is a really interesting way to apply archetypes to people. Using only characters from stories.

I think it's kinda on my mind 'cause I've been reding this author called Borges (I'm reading a book called Labyrinths). You should check him out. It's a bit of a trip.

hey im closing my account, come find me on myspace

myspace.com/dexiefirecracker

Hey it sucks being single.... but look on the bright side. At least it still bothers you (sounds weird huh?)... but seriously, I miss caring about stuff like that.... it was better then feeling cold all the time and not giving enough of a shit to do anything about it.

Plus, you rock.

ok you may be sad but you look adorable in that pic yes of course you two can still come down.