So I haven't been on for a few days and that has to do with basically losing two of my best friends.
It all started with my best friend's (Britt) boyfriend, Bama...who, incidentally, is my future brother-in-law. On Saint Patrick's Day, he decided to procure alcohol at 10 in the morning and blitz himself into passed-out drunkenness, regardless of the fact that Britt and I had previously-made plans for the day, requiring him to watch her son. Once she finally woke him up, he decided to refuse to come down regardless of how many times she asked. Thankfully, Nick (my boyfriend and Bama's brother) was there and he watched the kids while Bama fucked off.
Later in the day when Britt and I came back, we were talking about how much Bama was infuriating and I made the comment "He's being a twat." Because he was. Unbeknownst to me, he had finally decided to come downstairs (8 hours after Britt woke him up), and overheard me. He immediately FLIPPED and threatened to hit me because I "don't know how to keep my mouth shut." Apparently, his problem isn't what I said, but the fact that I said it behind his back...in which I said it right to his face not even 5 minutes after the fact.
Now, maybe I'm different or weird or something, but I honestly don't care what anyone says behind my back as long as it's not spreading false accusations and shit. Want to call me a bitch, a twat, an asshole? Cool. I am 100% a-okay with that. Want to talk about something I actually did, in fact, say? I'm cool with that too. I don't really care if I'm the subject of conversation as long as the facts remain facts.
We talk about what's going on in our lives - our families, our jobs, our friends, our everyday experiences. It's natural and I don't think I should apologize for that. Britt and I have been friends for 8 years now and I've had MINIMAL problems with her exes. Almost zero, and the few I did have, we handled it like adults and moved on.
He and Britt broke up that night. She called me later and cried on the phone for 4 hours while I listened like the good friend I happen to think I am.
They got back together within 24 hours later.
Over the last 2 weeks, Bama has 'liked' all of my negative facebook posts (talking about my depression and whatnot), Britt has not talked to me since then, and it all came to a head 4 days ago. I was feeling extra shitty about everything and I couldn't stop crying. I made a post about it. He liked it. I sent a snap of my ugly crying face to Paige (another friend) asking if she could tell Bama to stop being an ass. He immediately messages me demanding an apology or that it wouldn't stop.
I refused. I'm not going to apologize for something so stupid.
He photoshopped a picture of me onto a flipping iCarly picture, titling it "The Amber Show," insinuating that I'm attention-seeking. So of course I commented on it and he and I were going back and forth.
I can recognize that what I said was harsh, but it was all factual. He DID get drunk in the morning. He DID shirk his responsibilities. He DID threaten to hit me. I added some colorful language, but that was it. He responded by calling me a lazy, terrible mother who doesn't care for Nick or my kids. He also said that I let me kids play in trash and that I stuff diapers under the couch?? Ridiculous libel that shouldn't hurt me, but did. The fact that he would stoop so low as to not only lie about me, but to bring my children and my relationship to the mix? Unbelievable.
Nick hopped on and crushed that bullshit, but now their relationship is mangled, any friendship Bama and I could have had is mangled, and my best friends have taken a definitive siding with Bama.
The reason I say that last part is that it's INSANE to me that Britt didn't stop him. If Nick were to get into an argument with Britt or Paige and said those terrible things, he'd have his ass handed to him. There's a sense of loyalty that has evaporated. I don't even want her to pick sides! I just hoped she'd play neutral and try to stop him from tearing me down so completely. I feel like my trust has flown away and I can feel my walls come back up. I don't know what to do, and I'm too stubborn and proud to talk to her first. Call it petty, but I don't think I should have to come to her to be like "why didn't you at least try to stop him?" The number of times I've defended Britt is astronomical, and she just...let me get fed to the wolves.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Anyone want to weigh in?
