kafkaesquedream

okay that's it no more boys...not for a long ass time.

i'm baaaccckkkkkk......

i have 12 days to find a boyfriend who likes me enough to pay for another year of my subscription...this is serious business...the hunt is on...
sorry i'm so slap happy it hurts...not enough sleep does silly things to my head...

"you can't treat people like you treat people and then...then say something adorable like that"

"The lad doesn't say much and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul. "

"classic, he never wants to see her again but he doesn't want her dismembered in the underground parking structure"

"where the FUCK does everybody go when they have to go?"...
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last night was completely drama filled...thankfully not my drama but unfortunately drama that left me and another person trying to find a ride home from the bar...
question for everyone: how hard is it to run after someone?

oh the hell that will break lose tonite...

i wish i had a computer with internet access at home...
that's really all i have to say about that...
oh want to know why? go read arienette 's journal...
freakin' a...

other news of the day: the puking has stopped and so has his relationship with her...where that leaves him and i, is definately still up in the air though...just not quite as far...

let's say you have no health insurance right?...and you have been under an obscene amount of stress lately...and yr life is falling apart...and at first you were just throwing up, but now it's throwing up blood...how long before you go to the hospital?...i think i have an ulcer...i haven't eaten in days and drank way too much...and it's getting more painful...can they fix ulcers?...is it...
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i did the unthinkable last night...but i had to...i couldn't keep fighting so hard because that wasn't working and obviously before i wasn't fighting hard enough, i didn't know what the middle ground was...and i couldn't deal with him doing whatever it is that he needs to do and still have that "he's MY boyfriend" issue, because i'm not that strong of a person...and it...
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going to philly this weekend with justin...
SO FUCKING EXCITED!
however slightly nervous about that whole while the cats away the mice will play stuff...
anyways...it's going to be a blast...
i can't wait to see chris and just be out of this godforsaken town for a couple days...
much.love.

okay life is gonna be okay...sean's not breaking up with me and eventually things will be better with us again...i told him he has to kiss my ass and get me flowers and write me poetry for like a month if not more...
on other plus news...guess who got her anchor filled in?...oh yeah that's me...wait did i ever post pics of the wings? well...
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someone tell me i'm going to be okay...no matter what happens...cause i can't stop shaking, i've been throwing up all morning, and i can't understand how i'm supposed to fix this...
i miss him and he's not even gone yet...
yet...