Quiet day. Quiet week so far. Insanely quiet. The newsroom has been so emptied out by spring fever or allergies you could almost hear a pin drop, which is funny since I usually hate the noise but find myself missing it now that it's gone.
When I wasn't laying out pages I was either reading a book, having an online discussion about The Wire or reading emails from someone standing on a precipice but talking vague to keep me at bay like the way I've shut people out over the years. It probably sounds harsh to say part of me wishes I'd just stuck with the Wire talk exclusively. I barely keep myself together some days. Now someone flirting with full collapse?
I guess I should be happy she's said anything at all. I would completely disappear when I was in the state she describes. I have no idea what to say though. Platitudes aren't the style for either one of us. I have no words. For now all I can offer is to listen.
I used to be so much better when it came to people. Some days now it just feels like I'm faking it.
Reading: Broken Summers by Henry Rollins.
Background Music: "Atomic" by Blondie.
When I wasn't laying out pages I was either reading a book, having an online discussion about The Wire or reading emails from someone standing on a precipice but talking vague to keep me at bay like the way I've shut people out over the years. It probably sounds harsh to say part of me wishes I'd just stuck with the Wire talk exclusively. I barely keep myself together some days. Now someone flirting with full collapse?
I guess I should be happy she's said anything at all. I would completely disappear when I was in the state she describes. I have no idea what to say though. Platitudes aren't the style for either one of us. I have no words. For now all I can offer is to listen.
I used to be so much better when it came to people. Some days now it just feels like I'm faking it.
Reading: Broken Summers by Henry Rollins.
Background Music: "Atomic" by Blondie.
i shut people out too. then when i let them in, i get scared and push them out.
i am a terrible human at times.