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k12573n

Somewhere in Oklahoma

Member Since 2010

Followers 286 Following 288

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Monday Aug 15, 2011

Aug 15, 2011
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Class starts a week from today! I'm getting excited. I start my new job on campus this Thursday, too. It's definitely an exciting time in my life. This feels different than it did my first year in college, different than when I moved into the dorms and everything. I feel more in control, but also less demanding. It's a good feeling. I'm anticipating that I can really get some good things accomplished this year. I'm really proud of myself, which isn't something I honestly experience that often.

Throughout high school, I wasn't proud of myself - I was just arrogant and unappreciative of advice that could have benefited me at the time. I didn't accomplish anything at the peak of my potential in high school because I thought I was too good to try. I didn't strive to succeed, I thought it was innate - that was enough for me, then. Now it's different, though. I feel that there is more than my own accomplishment at stake now. I need to show my family that it's possible to succeed and dig yourself out of anything you put yourself in. I want to be a pillar of strength and a wealth of knowledge, but I also want to gain gentle wisdom that will help them rather than scold them for failing or making mistakes. I feel I need to be an example for both my older and younger sisters, as well as my dad's two young sons.

I'm feeling so optimistic about things lately, and I love how it feels to not know what's going to happen but know it will be alright. If I strive to do well this year, I will. That seems inevitable. My motivation is fickle and often drops out beneath me in the times I need it most, but I hope I can learn to stay motivated through anything I need to finish.

My classes for this semester:

Tuesdays & Thursdays:

Drawing I @ 8:30-11:20 am
Intro. to Sociology @ 12:30-1:45 pm
Intro. to Cultural Geography @ 3:30-4:45 pm

Thursdays Only:

College Algebra @ 2:00-2:50 pm

Super simple classes, but I wanted to start simple this time. Often times, I load up on difficult subjects and demanding class loads because I want to prove something. I always defeat myself, though, because I still haven't learned how to study. I can write papers all day long. I can solve pages upon pages of math and logic problems. I can usually pass a test without any prior studying. It's impossible, it seems, for me to make A's, though. I don't put the effort into it, thinking that my intelligence and prior knowledge will be sufficient to get me through, but I don't want to skate by any more. I want to grow in so many ways.

I'm sure alot of you have felt the same way, since most of the people on here seem to be fairly intelligent and talented in some way. It's easy to just float through challenges, knowing that you're above average and can do that; it's difficult, however, to challenge yourself and force yourself to prove that you really are above average, though. That's been my experience, anyway.

Thoughts?

tlm_:
No worries. I'm down about 50 since new years, and 100 overall - so I know its possible. Its more of an endurance thing - sometimes we want to hurry and sabotage ourselves. Its important to choose a diet you could live with for a long time - not just a few days.
Aug 17, 2011

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