SPOILERS! (Click to view)
A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, What the heck, I really want a drink. So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, What's the name of your penis? The guy says, Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. The gay bartender says, I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, Hey bud, what's the name of your penis? The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, TIMEX. The guy asks, Why Timex? The fella proudly replies, Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'! A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, So, what do you call your penis? The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, FORD, because quality is Job 1, he then ads, Have you driven a Ford lately? Even more shaken, the guy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer. The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, Why secret? The guy says, because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!
A guy walks into a bar ... once inside, he realizes it's a gay bar, but he decides, What the heck, I really want a drink. So he sits down at the bar, and the gay bartender says to him, What's the name of your penis? The guy says, Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink. The gay bartender says, I'm sorry, but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. So the guy looks at the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer and asks, Hey bud, what's the name of your penis? The man to left, with a smile, looks back and says, TIMEX. The guy asks, Why Timex? The fella proudly replies, Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'! A little shaken, the guy turns to the fella on his right sipping on a fruity margarita, So, what do you call your penis? The man to his right turns to him and proudly exclaims, FORD, because quality is Job 1, he then ads, Have you driven a Ford lately? Even more shaken, the guy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me my beer. The bartender begins to pour the guy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, Why secret? The guy says, because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'