Okay, I'm only writing this journal becuase I don't want to look at the last one again. I'm being a coward. I'm doing nothing. Almost as much as my mom....
I'm so close to tears right now, writing people emails is making me feel like I'm in a freaking counseling session. Trying to use other people's questions to try to figure yourself out. It doesn't hurt so much as it is sad. I'm crying now. Niiiicceee. And my cd just skipped. And over and over.
That's what I need to do the most too. Just to lay down on the cold floor and listen to all my Modest Mouse cds. Really loud, for hours. It helps me to feel nothing, but that's not good for you.
That's my problem. I'm used to shutting down. Feeling nothing. But it's hard to do in this situation, because that's exactly what my little sister is doing. Seeing a person do that doesn't allow you to do it yourself. My escape has been ruined.
I'm so close to tears right now, writing people emails is making me feel like I'm in a freaking counseling session. Trying to use other people's questions to try to figure yourself out. It doesn't hurt so much as it is sad. I'm crying now. Niiiicceee. And my cd just skipped. And over and over.
That's what I need to do the most too. Just to lay down on the cold floor and listen to all my Modest Mouse cds. Really loud, for hours. It helps me to feel nothing, but that's not good for you.
That's my problem. I'm used to shutting down. Feeling nothing. But it's hard to do in this situation, because that's exactly what my little sister is doing. Seeing a person do that doesn't allow you to do it yourself. My escape has been ruined.
rudegirl:
Do'nt let your escape be ruined. Everyone needs one now and then.
tiffanymarie:
That's a great idea, but you still have to spend money buying the materials. Hmmm... maybe that's what I'll do. I know my mom would surely cherish me baking something for her. Thanks so much sweetie!