Things have changed...
They used to be so simple. I would run past everyone and chase what I wanted. Now i hesitate, dissect and criticize. Self destruct and ruin what i built. Get close then remove myself emotionally. detach and watch things fall apart. Distrust. doubt. fear. Feeling lost in love...
- Ruined so many opportunities w so many gorgeous girls. Since when did things become about me? when did they become so cut throat? Since when did my thoughts and actions become two different things? Since when did things become about who cared less?? Since when did it all become about power??... I don't even know where to go from here.
The last 6 months have been the hardest in my life... and they aren't getting easier im just getting stronger...more defensive. survival mode.
"Its not a question of color any more, it's above that. I mean it's getting more and more difficult for man to just love. And fewer men are making a real effort to find exactly who they are and to build on that knowledge. Most people are forced to do things they don't want to all the time, and they get to the point where they feel they no longer have any choice. We create our own slavery, but I'm going to get through and find out the kind of man i am- or die." -Charles Mingus
They used to be so simple. I would run past everyone and chase what I wanted. Now i hesitate, dissect and criticize. Self destruct and ruin what i built. Get close then remove myself emotionally. detach and watch things fall apart. Distrust. doubt. fear. Feeling lost in love...
- Ruined so many opportunities w so many gorgeous girls. Since when did things become about me? when did they become so cut throat? Since when did my thoughts and actions become two different things? Since when did things become about who cared less?? Since when did it all become about power??... I don't even know where to go from here.
The last 6 months have been the hardest in my life... and they aren't getting easier im just getting stronger...more defensive. survival mode.
"Its not a question of color any more, it's above that. I mean it's getting more and more difficult for man to just love. And fewer men are making a real effort to find exactly who they are and to build on that knowledge. Most people are forced to do things they don't want to all the time, and they get to the point where they feel they no longer have any choice. We create our own slavery, but I'm going to get through and find out the kind of man i am- or die." -Charles Mingus
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