Every now and then I get down and glum. The chemicals in my brain start to win the long, cold fight. And then I remember this little story.. and I think about why I'm doing what I'm doing, and why I am here...
Burning Man 2004. It was.. Tuesday night I think, maybe Wednesday. For some strange confluence of events, everyone else in camp had gone to bed, it was only one o'clock in the morning I was still awake and wanted to go walking around and exploring, but I just can't do that alone. Never have been, maybe never will be able to.
It just so happened that one of my new friends was flying into camp that night at around one o'clock.. and he came riding up right then, when I was about to give up and just go to sleep. He was fresh from the default world, and he wanted to hit the playa. He wanted to scramble around and see the sights, having just flown in, and I wanted to.. being young and nutty.
We roamed the playa for hours upon hours. I really got to be close to Jello that night, we had so much fun just walking around and talking. We walked the whole playa, all the big art installations and all the big camps on the Esplanade. It was really great. We did that until sunrise, when Jellp decided he needed to get a little sleep, it had been a really long day for him.
I sat out in front of camp, and tried to walk around a bit on my own, but I just couldn't do it. I ended up in front of the Roaster Coaster trying to keep warm. It's a funny thing. In the morning on the playa, just after sunrise, it's cold. It's really cold, but everything is bright and the sun is shining. You think you should be hot, but its still frigid. And here I was, desperately trying to stay awake and still carry on the amazingly fun night I just had with Jello, but mostly I was just trying to stay warm.
Ever since then I have dreaded sunrise. Sunrise just feels cold to me. Cold, lonely, and distant like everything in the world is not just beyond arms reach, but miles away. The first burst of sunlight over the horizon is so lonely to me.. no matter how many people I'm with. It is this image I return to. Sunny and light, bright and thrilling, but so cold and lonely I can't stand it.
Life can be like that. Cold and lonely and harsh as anything. And I just know that the reason I'm here, the reason I'm alive is to bring some warmth into that cold. Bring people together and to let everyone know we're in this together and we're all loved and need eachother to make it through.
I clown to unlock the warmpth and silly that everyone carries inside their heart. I clown to inspire hope and love to bring people together against the bright, rising cold.
I'm going to change the world through circus.
Wanna come along?
Burning Man 2004. It was.. Tuesday night I think, maybe Wednesday. For some strange confluence of events, everyone else in camp had gone to bed, it was only one o'clock in the morning I was still awake and wanted to go walking around and exploring, but I just can't do that alone. Never have been, maybe never will be able to.
It just so happened that one of my new friends was flying into camp that night at around one o'clock.. and he came riding up right then, when I was about to give up and just go to sleep. He was fresh from the default world, and he wanted to hit the playa. He wanted to scramble around and see the sights, having just flown in, and I wanted to.. being young and nutty.
We roamed the playa for hours upon hours. I really got to be close to Jello that night, we had so much fun just walking around and talking. We walked the whole playa, all the big art installations and all the big camps on the Esplanade. It was really great. We did that until sunrise, when Jellp decided he needed to get a little sleep, it had been a really long day for him.
I sat out in front of camp, and tried to walk around a bit on my own, but I just couldn't do it. I ended up in front of the Roaster Coaster trying to keep warm. It's a funny thing. In the morning on the playa, just after sunrise, it's cold. It's really cold, but everything is bright and the sun is shining. You think you should be hot, but its still frigid. And here I was, desperately trying to stay awake and still carry on the amazingly fun night I just had with Jello, but mostly I was just trying to stay warm.
Ever since then I have dreaded sunrise. Sunrise just feels cold to me. Cold, lonely, and distant like everything in the world is not just beyond arms reach, but miles away. The first burst of sunlight over the horizon is so lonely to me.. no matter how many people I'm with. It is this image I return to. Sunny and light, bright and thrilling, but so cold and lonely I can't stand it.
Life can be like that. Cold and lonely and harsh as anything. And I just know that the reason I'm here, the reason I'm alive is to bring some warmth into that cold. Bring people together and to let everyone know we're in this together and we're all loved and need eachother to make it through.
I clown to unlock the warmpth and silly that everyone carries inside their heart. I clown to inspire hope and love to bring people together against the bright, rising cold.
I'm going to change the world through circus.
Wanna come along?
Just plain superb.
I'd love to come along.