junkeragentseed

roommate: oh yeah, so r_____ im'ed me a few days ago.
me: who did? r_____?
roommate: i hadn't heard from her in a while. at least since i was at home.
me: r_____, my ex-girlfriend?
roommate: yeah. the thing was, that was when you were in portland and we didn't know where you were. so i could have said to her, "yeah, scott might be dead."
me: dude! i would have high-fived you so many times if you had said that. like a million.