junecleavage

So, my daughter just chooses to put on "Something I Can Never Have" by good old Trenty. (He is sort of "y-ish" these days isn't he-kinda like Snoop Dogg)? You know what I mean. Supposedly dark and dangerous but now clearly changed by money and power to commercial and airy and "feel good?" But, that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is that this little girl used to sing this song at the top of her lungs, and EMOTE, when she was only 3 1/2 years old. Because I wasn't into NIN when they came out. I was in college man. I was listening to OMD fer crissakes. Not by choice necessarily, but by company and radio and what people played at frat parties. Which I went to. Frequently. In that never ending attempt to fit in. So...SO many years later, this one day when I was in the beginning stages of my thirties, my brother Jackson played that song for me. And I was like, "Well, um, this is sort of awesome and speaking to me and why don't I like Nine Inch Nails again?" And I bought a used copy of Pretty Hate Machine...played it to it's death...and then bought every single NIN Halo 400 and gazilliion recording ever made.And played them relentlessly in the car with my toddler daughter who very much enjoyed joining in. Anyway, back to the point. Of the post. I am writing. At the moment. Sorry, I am all distracted because she is now playing me "Judith" by A Perfect Circle which I was also rather beyond obsessed with. She is literally teaching my songs to her to me. Right now. It has brought me back you see. To those days when my brothers' band members and I were all a part of the same breakfast club. To when we rather crossed the lines that society had drawn for us. When I stopped apologizing and started taking accountability for who I was, who my daughter was going to be. And who I was going to end up with in the end. To the days when echonemonic showed up and I was grateful enough to lay down the swords of music but not enough to stop listening. I am glad my music speaks to her. I am glad my mother's music spoke to me. I am glad music is so heartily celebrated in our world. I am glad we are WE. I wish Liz Phair had stayed cool man....coz she was.