junecleavage

I have spent a very long and good portion of my life in the "punk rock." I was fascinated and captivated by its presence in my teen years, so much so that I would watch "Suburbia" and "Repo Man" and "Decline of Western Civilization" and "Liquid Sky" ad nauseum, just to envelop myself within this crazy need and want and effort to rebel. Only, my mom watched ALL of those movies with me. Might even have introduced me to one or two I didn't even mention. It became so hard to rebel against a mom like that. How do you reject "cool?" How do you turn your back on it? Especially when it is literally where you come from? So, I decided to run off in the middle of the night on a regular basis, from my safe Suburban haven, to hang on the street and at the theater where Rocky Horror Picture Show played until 3 AM in the middle of my beloved Philadelphia at a sweet sixteen. I unveiled this German punk band, Blitz, at some side street city second hand record store. And I played it loudly and relentlessly for the majority of my Junior Year in High School. My mother would predictably (and delightfully) come storming up to my 3rd floor quarters screaming at me to turn it down. Oh Hell Yeah, that was what I was looking for. To piss my mom off? Hell yeah. With MUSIC????? Hell fucking yeah. That felt good. I don't really know why. But I am learning why, now, with my dear girl. It is about finding and screaming your voice sometimes. And that's okay, man. I get it. At 43, on Saturday, I just got new "cool girl" hair. Because at this age, and within this profession, it is the only way I feel any kind of rebellion. And, now yeah, it still feels good. It still feels like I pissed my cool mom off. Why does that feeling of redemption feel so good? The mind reels.