I have been meaning to sit down and write a proper update but find that when the moment grabs me to verbally regurgitate I am usually on a bus with no computer in sight and by the time I can capture all the thoughts that were colliding around up there they have been inundated with a myriad of various other daily happenings and the original point is soon forgotten.
That being said...our life has become very Zen-like. Awhile back, we permanently removed the vices we both possessed in an effort to really cleanse our minds and bodies(as new age hippie dippie as that may sound). It has been extremely rewarding and enlightening and our family has benefited in ways I could not have foreseen. We are better parents, better friends, better siblings and children, just simply put...better human beings.
I remember once being appalled at the idea of a permanent sobriety - "how the FUCK could anyone be sober ALL the time?!" But I was younger and the idea of facing myself 24/7 without a buffer of some sort - a mind numbing pill,drink,plant - was terrifying. I have certainly been faced with the cacophonic medley of my past indiscretions seeping through the cracks in my mind's dark quarantines developed especially for those memories. But it hasn't really been as shameful and frightening as I thought it might - more I feel sad for the young woman who doubted herself so much that she hid in the pools of alcohol she consumed.
I don't ever want my daughter to go through the years of deep rooted shame and loss and battle with identity that I did. Granted, she will have her battles and I cannot nor would I want to protect her from those-they will mold her along the way. But I can make certain that she has enough self worth and empowerment not to feel threatened by being proud of who she is and what she wants from this world.
My son is fortunate enough to have been born into this life with us as we were shaking the cobwebs from our dirty past lives so I worry less about him - he hasn't been exposed to those darker sides that our little girl has borne witness to. But I also must remember that they made her the strong, amazing, untouchable rock star that she is and for that I am grateful.
We have so much we are working towards lately and going forward. We are really concentrating on our varied conceptions, musically awakened, creatively charged, internally harmonized and watch out folks - a super RAD pod cast is in development and on the way to your ears. The world may never be the same.
Happy Liberation Weekend - enjoy the fireworks - be they inside your home or above the art museum with Lionel Richie playing (I shit you not - because that is how Philly celebrates their independence...YO)
That being said...our life has become very Zen-like. Awhile back, we permanently removed the vices we both possessed in an effort to really cleanse our minds and bodies(as new age hippie dippie as that may sound). It has been extremely rewarding and enlightening and our family has benefited in ways I could not have foreseen. We are better parents, better friends, better siblings and children, just simply put...better human beings.
I remember once being appalled at the idea of a permanent sobriety - "how the FUCK could anyone be sober ALL the time?!" But I was younger and the idea of facing myself 24/7 without a buffer of some sort - a mind numbing pill,drink,plant - was terrifying. I have certainly been faced with the cacophonic medley of my past indiscretions seeping through the cracks in my mind's dark quarantines developed especially for those memories. But it hasn't really been as shameful and frightening as I thought it might - more I feel sad for the young woman who doubted herself so much that she hid in the pools of alcohol she consumed.
I don't ever want my daughter to go through the years of deep rooted shame and loss and battle with identity that I did. Granted, she will have her battles and I cannot nor would I want to protect her from those-they will mold her along the way. But I can make certain that she has enough self worth and empowerment not to feel threatened by being proud of who she is and what she wants from this world.
My son is fortunate enough to have been born into this life with us as we were shaking the cobwebs from our dirty past lives so I worry less about him - he hasn't been exposed to those darker sides that our little girl has borne witness to. But I also must remember that they made her the strong, amazing, untouchable rock star that she is and for that I am grateful.
We have so much we are working towards lately and going forward. We are really concentrating on our varied conceptions, musically awakened, creatively charged, internally harmonized and watch out folks - a super RAD pod cast is in development and on the way to your ears. The world may never be the same.
Happy Liberation Weekend - enjoy the fireworks - be they inside your home or above the art museum with Lionel Richie playing (I shit you not - because that is how Philly celebrates their independence...YO)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
johnesmoke:
Happy Birthday to BinkyMcQueen!!
nocontrol:
Amen. I've found my life to have significantly improved in quality, quantity and clarity since I decided to lay off the sauce. I need no other intoxicants than good time spent with my little one, anyway. So, yeah...cheers to that. 