Deep Thoughts for a Sunday morning...
There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life...To seek a total unity is wrong. To give as much meaning to one's life as possible is right to me. ~Anais Nin
I understand these words in a far more profound way since the birth of my son. This is not to say that my daughter's birth and pursuant cycle of life didn't affect me in weighty ways, but there were so many other determining factors in her early years - so many slices of dysfunction and sorrow and upheaval that detracted from the simplicity of her glorious pure child-ness the epiphany just didnt strike me properly. She became instead the benefactor of all my love in its many varied and perplexing forms rather than a child who needed her mother to be steady and consistent. This manifests itself in interesting ways as she approaches 9 years old. She has been called precocious and brilliant and charming and wise beyond her years. She has been called an OLD SOUL. And to her credit she is all of those things. But she is also still a wide-eyed, young inquisitive growing baby girl in so many ways and it took such an interesting chain of events to bring that to light. It took my escape from her father. It took my health problems and breakdown that soon followed and the years that it was just she and I when our roles became blurred. It took Sam existing and in turn, finding and capturing me so to speak. It took the residence in some highly questionable circumstances as we worked to get ourselves back to a place of normalcy and stability. It took the birth of her brother. It took mornings like these when that boys simple sweet smile at 5 am every morning makes my heart soar and the rest of the world fade away as he laughs at the sound of his own babbling and delights in the sensation of his hand tracing my face. Existence is a splendid thing. My children have altered me and my perception in such astonishing ways that I often find myself bewildered at the effortlessness of it all. Prior to being this, their mother, I had a determined willful approach to lifeI knew what I wanted, what I had deemed that I deserved, and what I was going to do to maintain that. And now, here, all of that feels like a reoccurring dream as I relish in the reality of what is truly satiating and fulfilling. I could go on and on but I wont. My baby boy clamors for my attention and this day is still ripe with possibility. And more importantlyThere is a RENO 911 marathon on and it just doesnt get any funnier than that shit.
This might just be the best shit EVAH:
Let's Bottle Bohemia By The Thrills Release date: By 14 September, 2004
Simultaneous reaction to Sam's hilarity:
There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life...To seek a total unity is wrong. To give as much meaning to one's life as possible is right to me. ~Anais Nin
I understand these words in a far more profound way since the birth of my son. This is not to say that my daughter's birth and pursuant cycle of life didn't affect me in weighty ways, but there were so many other determining factors in her early years - so many slices of dysfunction and sorrow and upheaval that detracted from the simplicity of her glorious pure child-ness the epiphany just didnt strike me properly. She became instead the benefactor of all my love in its many varied and perplexing forms rather than a child who needed her mother to be steady and consistent. This manifests itself in interesting ways as she approaches 9 years old. She has been called precocious and brilliant and charming and wise beyond her years. She has been called an OLD SOUL. And to her credit she is all of those things. But she is also still a wide-eyed, young inquisitive growing baby girl in so many ways and it took such an interesting chain of events to bring that to light. It took my escape from her father. It took my health problems and breakdown that soon followed and the years that it was just she and I when our roles became blurred. It took Sam existing and in turn, finding and capturing me so to speak. It took the residence in some highly questionable circumstances as we worked to get ourselves back to a place of normalcy and stability. It took the birth of her brother. It took mornings like these when that boys simple sweet smile at 5 am every morning makes my heart soar and the rest of the world fade away as he laughs at the sound of his own babbling and delights in the sensation of his hand tracing my face. Existence is a splendid thing. My children have altered me and my perception in such astonishing ways that I often find myself bewildered at the effortlessness of it all. Prior to being this, their mother, I had a determined willful approach to lifeI knew what I wanted, what I had deemed that I deserved, and what I was going to do to maintain that. And now, here, all of that feels like a reoccurring dream as I relish in the reality of what is truly satiating and fulfilling. I could go on and on but I wont. My baby boy clamors for my attention and this day is still ripe with possibility. And more importantlyThere is a RENO 911 marathon on and it just doesnt get any funnier than that shit.
This might just be the best shit EVAH:
Let's Bottle Bohemia By The Thrills Release date: By 14 September, 2004
Simultaneous reaction to Sam's hilarity:
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I can't wait for the experience of being a father,