I got a sandwich today. Pretty exciting, the manager said the bread was really fresh. I said that I liked fresh bread. He confirmed that he liked fresh bread as well.
So I'm driving home, it's starting to rain, and there's a turtle in the middle of the road. No big deal, put on the hazards, got out of the car to deal with the issue. Walk up to the turtle, he freaks out and stuffs himself back into his little turtle home - I try to pick him up, and he's clearly pissed off.
Now I don't feel like being bit by this big ass turtle, so I try to talk him through things. He didn't have much to say, and I don't really feel like spending all afternoon talking with this turtle. I just wanted to eat my sandwich.
This is when it starts to rain, hard. I'm getting soaked. The turtle seems to be enjoying this. I try yelling at him, and jumping up and down. I think he laughed at me. I try begging him, no luck. So I tried sympathizing with him; I'm all 'dude, its cool. I know the pavement is nice and warm, and you probably like the rain too. But I'm telling you brosef, you're totally going to get turtle souped by an Escalade any minute.' He started to move back into the middle of the street, and I cut off his path. 'No way dude, other direction. That lawn right over there.'
That's when I remembered I had a motherfucking amazing sandwich! So I ran back to my car, and told the turtle I have a treat. I promise that I'll split my sandwich with him if he gets out of the road. He says he doesn't like tomatoes. I say he can pick them off. He says that it still tastes like tomatoes, even after you pick them off. I say no way, tomatoes don't really taste like anything, besides it's REALLY fresh bread, and that should make up for any dispute about toppings.
Sure enough it works. Takes him about 5 minutes, I'm soaked at this point, but he made it. Off of the street and into the lawn. He turned around and looked at me, ready for his half of the sandwich. I thought about it for a second then ran back and jumped in my car. "haha! fucker, I tricked you! I'm eating this whole thing! Boo-ya!"
He flicked me off.
Man, that was some fresh bread.
So I'm driving home, it's starting to rain, and there's a turtle in the middle of the road. No big deal, put on the hazards, got out of the car to deal with the issue. Walk up to the turtle, he freaks out and stuffs himself back into his little turtle home - I try to pick him up, and he's clearly pissed off.
Now I don't feel like being bit by this big ass turtle, so I try to talk him through things. He didn't have much to say, and I don't really feel like spending all afternoon talking with this turtle. I just wanted to eat my sandwich.
This is when it starts to rain, hard. I'm getting soaked. The turtle seems to be enjoying this. I try yelling at him, and jumping up and down. I think he laughed at me. I try begging him, no luck. So I tried sympathizing with him; I'm all 'dude, its cool. I know the pavement is nice and warm, and you probably like the rain too. But I'm telling you brosef, you're totally going to get turtle souped by an Escalade any minute.' He started to move back into the middle of the street, and I cut off his path. 'No way dude, other direction. That lawn right over there.'
That's when I remembered I had a motherfucking amazing sandwich! So I ran back to my car, and told the turtle I have a treat. I promise that I'll split my sandwich with him if he gets out of the road. He says he doesn't like tomatoes. I say he can pick them off. He says that it still tastes like tomatoes, even after you pick them off. I say no way, tomatoes don't really taste like anything, besides it's REALLY fresh bread, and that should make up for any dispute about toppings.
Sure enough it works. Takes him about 5 minutes, I'm soaked at this point, but he made it. Off of the street and into the lawn. He turned around and looked at me, ready for his half of the sandwich. I thought about it for a second then ran back and jumped in my car. "haha! fucker, I tricked you! I'm eating this whole thing! Boo-ya!"
He flicked me off.
Man, that was some fresh bread.
It was just the first time that anyone had recognized me that wasn't at a SG event. Plus, I was still out of it due to the recent piercing a short while before I met you