I made a working blowgun out of things I found in my cubicle yesterday (pushpins, Jolly Rancher wrappers, a straw). It took a little while to make it work right, but now I can launch tiny darts into things and I feel pretty proud of myself. My job can be pretty dull. 
Wife: Kids, where's your Father?
Daughter: He's upstairs masturbating to gay porn.
Wife: Again?