So my gf broke up with me today and I'm at a total loss.
Our relationship has been up and down for a while now. I've been trying really hard to do whatever i can to fix it. She told me recently that she would make a decision but i already knew what the decision would be. My ex and myself are very much a like, probably because we are both Scorpios. At her age i was in another serious relationship with pumpkinz, That's what i call my previous ex. I met pumpkinz my freshman year of college when i was 17 going on 18. Pumpkinz took my virginity and soon after my soul lol, In our 2nd year of dating I realized that i am fairly committed to her and that i gave up a very important time in my life to be with her. This was the age where most people party and go wild. I on the other hand am basically married. I started to feel like I knew nothing outside of that relationship and wanted to do things for myself. When i was dating Ariel she started to show similar signs so i could completely understand. I let her know if she wants to break up i understand. I went through that and Pumpkinz made me feel like shit for wanting to be my own person and i resented her for it. I didn't want Ariel to have to go through that. She sent me the we need to talk text today and i already knew what it was. I told her its fine we can text about it. It's not like we hate each other and new to be face to face so we can get all our mean statements straight. So she reiterated how she wants to be her own person and blah blah blah. I told her I'm not mad and completely understand. That I'm always here for her and what not, and that i truly do her. we texted on and off through the rest of my work shift. When i got home my mom asked how was Ariel and all the emotions i was holding in was released. She told me that she doesn't even remember the last time i was single and that i need to learn how to be. She's extremely right. I go from relationship to relationship. I've always been a flirt and i use to have somebody lined up for me to be with when the relationship went south. But i really gave my all this time around so now I'm just here you know. She also told me I'm a great catch and to not let the girlies trap me/bring her a grand baby lol. I love my mom she truly made me feel better.
That is until i spoke to Ariel again. She asked how i was and what not, asked what I'm doing. She mentioned she went out with a friend today. Instant red flag. "A friend" sounds like you're hiding something. This goes on top of the fact that she was so quick to update her facebook relationship status. For someone who says they love me and that they want time to themselves you sure are out hanging out fast aren't you? The same afternoon? I asked who the friend was and after being reluctant to tell me she said it was Christian. Another red flag. Let me explain (in my kevin hart voice): Christian is a really good friend of mine. We would always talk to each other about our relationships, he knows about me/pumpkinz and me/Ariel. His girlfriend Melissa is actually best friends with my ex Ariel. We all had a really good friendship. Christian was someone i could really trust and would always understand me. Him and Melissa broke up recently, when that happened he spoke to Melissa's friends for advice and to vent about what was going on during the break up. It was sorta a slap in the face cause he use to vent to me about his relationship but i understand. Ariel knows more about Melissa than i ever would so it makes sense that he would talk to her. It bothered me though, they were getting close talking everyday almost. And i know for a fact that he is Ariel's type. Pierced skaterboy look. I've also had problems in the past with friends having feelings for Ariel. So the first thing i hear from you on the day we break up is you are kicking it with christian. I asked what they did she said went downtown, i asked what they did downtown she said visit the fountain. I'm not sure how that looks to anybody else but that sounds like a date to me. She told me it wasn't. She was in the house bored, and since she was already talking to Christian they decided to meet up and hang out. There is just so many red flags that its angering.
I don't have a problem with us breaking up but be real with me. I am a very understanding guy. If you wanted to be with him just say it. Don't tell me you want time for yourself and that you haven't given up on us and then go and do the exact opposite of what you said. I could very much be jumping the gun but it doesn't look good at all. I'm not stupid, I'm a person who is very in tune with the world and what's going on around me. It feels like I'm being played and betrayed, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt until there's proof.
The timing is also a huge. My mom is actually moving to Texas in the next few months. When she first asked would i move with her i told her no because my whole life is in Chicago. If my ex is actually starting a relationship with my bf i might move with her. I'd be leaving so much behind friends, my job, my home of almost 23 years. But that space would be necessary, out of sight out of mind ya know? It feels like I'd be running and i hate to run from problems but i don't know what else i would do. There's just a lot on my mind and I'm sort of in shambles right now. To finally give your all to someone and to get played is a terrible feeling. I had a history of being very much in control of my emotions. Then you meet someone who tells you its ok to loose control and let some one in. Then for them to come in and stab you at your most vulnerable time. Hurts its all. I'm not weak, I am very strong. But this is a pain I've been preventing for some time. Fun Fact my real name is JaVario. Vario means to always keep a spare. I thought that was stupid for the longest until my mom told me that to always keep a spare is to always have a back up plan, to always be prepared. I was not prepared for this, i failed myself and in turn lost myself. I now have to find my way back
Fin
Our relationship has been up and down for a while now. I've been trying really hard to do whatever i can to fix it. She told me recently that she would make a decision but i already knew what the decision would be. My ex and myself are very much a like, probably because we are both Scorpios. At her age i was in another serious relationship with pumpkinz, That's what i call my previous ex. I met pumpkinz my freshman year of college when i was 17 going on 18. Pumpkinz took my virginity and soon after my soul lol, In our 2nd year of dating I realized that i am fairly committed to her and that i gave up a very important time in my life to be with her. This was the age where most people party and go wild. I on the other hand am basically married. I started to feel like I knew nothing outside of that relationship and wanted to do things for myself. When i was dating Ariel she started to show similar signs so i could completely understand. I let her know if she wants to break up i understand. I went through that and Pumpkinz made me feel like shit for wanting to be my own person and i resented her for it. I didn't want Ariel to have to go through that. She sent me the we need to talk text today and i already knew what it was. I told her its fine we can text about it. It's not like we hate each other and new to be face to face so we can get all our mean statements straight. So she reiterated how she wants to be her own person and blah blah blah. I told her I'm not mad and completely understand. That I'm always here for her and what not, and that i truly do her. we texted on and off through the rest of my work shift. When i got home my mom asked how was Ariel and all the emotions i was holding in was released. She told me that she doesn't even remember the last time i was single and that i need to learn how to be. She's extremely right. I go from relationship to relationship. I've always been a flirt and i use to have somebody lined up for me to be with when the relationship went south. But i really gave my all this time around so now I'm just here you know. She also told me I'm a great catch and to not let the girlies trap me/bring her a grand baby lol. I love my mom she truly made me feel better.
That is until i spoke to Ariel again. She asked how i was and what not, asked what I'm doing. She mentioned she went out with a friend today. Instant red flag. "A friend" sounds like you're hiding something. This goes on top of the fact that she was so quick to update her facebook relationship status. For someone who says they love me and that they want time to themselves you sure are out hanging out fast aren't you? The same afternoon? I asked who the friend was and after being reluctant to tell me she said it was Christian. Another red flag. Let me explain (in my kevin hart voice): Christian is a really good friend of mine. We would always talk to each other about our relationships, he knows about me/pumpkinz and me/Ariel. His girlfriend Melissa is actually best friends with my ex Ariel. We all had a really good friendship. Christian was someone i could really trust and would always understand me. Him and Melissa broke up recently, when that happened he spoke to Melissa's friends for advice and to vent about what was going on during the break up. It was sorta a slap in the face cause he use to vent to me about his relationship but i understand. Ariel knows more about Melissa than i ever would so it makes sense that he would talk to her. It bothered me though, they were getting close talking everyday almost. And i know for a fact that he is Ariel's type. Pierced skaterboy look. I've also had problems in the past with friends having feelings for Ariel. So the first thing i hear from you on the day we break up is you are kicking it with christian. I asked what they did she said went downtown, i asked what they did downtown she said visit the fountain. I'm not sure how that looks to anybody else but that sounds like a date to me. She told me it wasn't. She was in the house bored, and since she was already talking to Christian they decided to meet up and hang out. There is just so many red flags that its angering.
I don't have a problem with us breaking up but be real with me. I am a very understanding guy. If you wanted to be with him just say it. Don't tell me you want time for yourself and that you haven't given up on us and then go and do the exact opposite of what you said. I could very much be jumping the gun but it doesn't look good at all. I'm not stupid, I'm a person who is very in tune with the world and what's going on around me. It feels like I'm being played and betrayed, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt until there's proof.
The timing is also a huge. My mom is actually moving to Texas in the next few months. When she first asked would i move with her i told her no because my whole life is in Chicago. If my ex is actually starting a relationship with my bf i might move with her. I'd be leaving so much behind friends, my job, my home of almost 23 years. But that space would be necessary, out of sight out of mind ya know? It feels like I'd be running and i hate to run from problems but i don't know what else i would do. There's just a lot on my mind and I'm sort of in shambles right now. To finally give your all to someone and to get played is a terrible feeling. I had a history of being very much in control of my emotions. Then you meet someone who tells you its ok to loose control and let some one in. Then for them to come in and stab you at your most vulnerable time. Hurts its all. I'm not weak, I am very strong. But this is a pain I've been preventing for some time. Fun Fact my real name is JaVario. Vario means to always keep a spare. I thought that was stupid for the longest until my mom told me that to always keep a spare is to always have a back up plan, to always be prepared. I was not prepared for this, i failed myself and in turn lost myself. I now have to find my way back
Fin
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
crystmeth:
besitooooos <3 deja tu amor besitos
safira:
Yes i am! 