My name is Jujubee and I am a workaholic.
I work so much that I never go out with my friends anymore. I'm surprised they remember my name if I EVER, EVER get to go out. I'm surprised some of them showed up to my birthday party.
I work so much that I feel like I have abandoned my two closest friends because I can never spend real quality time with them and when I do work is constantly going through my head (catering orders, menus, prep list, ordering, etc.).
I work so much that If I didn't move back in with my parents (I pay as much in rent as you do fuckers so shut the fuck up) I would never see them OR my sister OR my nephew whom my mother babysits.
I work so much that my health is horrible. I tell myself I will take care of "whatever the problem is" on my next day off when in reality I end up sleeping all day.
I work so much that I have over 2 months worth of vacation time banked and I feel I will never get to use it all.
Why the fuck am I telling you all of this?
Because today I had a breakdown, a realization of my life the last couple of years. I feel distant to the people that I love more than my own life, I feel like I let them down because I can't be there for them. I know they understand......... but I don't. That kills me.
I need to change.
I love you Christie.
I work so much that I never go out with my friends anymore. I'm surprised they remember my name if I EVER, EVER get to go out. I'm surprised some of them showed up to my birthday party.
I work so much that I feel like I have abandoned my two closest friends because I can never spend real quality time with them and when I do work is constantly going through my head (catering orders, menus, prep list, ordering, etc.).
I work so much that If I didn't move back in with my parents (I pay as much in rent as you do fuckers so shut the fuck up) I would never see them OR my sister OR my nephew whom my mother babysits.
I work so much that my health is horrible. I tell myself I will take care of "whatever the problem is" on my next day off when in reality I end up sleeping all day.
I work so much that I have over 2 months worth of vacation time banked and I feel I will never get to use it all.
Why the fuck am I telling you all of this?
Because today I had a breakdown, a realization of my life the last couple of years. I feel distant to the people that I love more than my own life, I feel like I let them down because I can't be there for them. I know they understand......... but I don't. That kills me.
I need to change.
I love you Christie.
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I know this because my new job has given me back my life. The hours are shorter and I am not tired all the time. I now have more time to see my friends and I realize how much I was missing by working all the time. Back with my old job, even when I would go out I wouldn't really be there because I was so wiped all the time.
Ask yourself this...
Why do I work so much?
Am I hiding from something in my life by working so much or am I afraid I can't afford my bills with out so many hours?
What is my payoff for so much work (financial, emotional or other)?
What am I missing by working so much?
Is there a way I could work less and still afford (financially) to live?
When I answered these questions myself I was really surprised at the answers. then when I made the change I was even more surprised by the things I got back that I didn't know were missing.
Remember it is not selfish to take care of yourself, you are worth it.