Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

judypatricia

Member Since 2004

Followers 189 Following 179

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Jul 25, 2005

Jul 24, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
The problem with the internet is that you can't really convey your tone all the time. Right now, I sound like I might be angry, when I'm not. There's no finger-pointing, no bitterness, no paranoia. There is hurt, though, and there is disappointment; I'm hardly able to blame anyone for all that, however. Things just happen.

I might sound like I've lost it entirely for a little while, just to give you warning. But if you see me apartment-hunting in California, don't think I'm nuts.

I have no idea when stuff changed. I know I only wanted him and that he made others seem unappealing. I don't think I've been in love with someone so much before, and not in the if-I-can't-have-you-no-one-can type of way, but in a pretty sincere, content one. That's really all there is. I don't need him, and I never did, but I sure do want him around.

I know Me well enough to say that I'll go through some kind of self-deprecating thing, but that won't last. I don't even know when to expect it. Maybe in a couple days.

The part that I don't want to go through, really, is taking down a love-note he left me the end of last year that I've since taped to my desk; and having to inform everyone and say it like it happened years ago, like it doesn't sound wrong. I can only ignore everybody for a few days, if that's what I think I'll need to do, but then I'll have to start talking sooner or later.

I wonder what being over him will feel like, and if it will be less than all the other I'm Over Hims previously accomplished.

This is really soon, but I can't keep anything to myself as it is. Whether you like that, or I like that, about me doesn't apply.

Dramatics aside, this is a whole new, unfamiliar pain. It's big, how much I'm going to miss you.

I can't say enough how all I am is sad, not angry, not resentful. A little heartbreak's good for you, after all.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
acetracer:
I think you're nuts already; it's the only way to describe a sane person in a world of crazy people.

I say we run away together and move into a duplex and be crabby and yell at people to get off our lawns. Being a loveless curmudgeon with you sounds as good as anything smile

Jul 26, 2005
radiofrank:
*hugs*
Jul 26, 2005

More Blogs

  • 10.15.07
    29

    Monday Oct 15, 2007

    It's gotten to the point I feel sort of stupid for paying to be here.…
  • 10.10.07
    16

    Wednesday Oct 10, 2007

    Oh, my. Haven't been around. The bad news is I didn't get the job I…
  • 09.18.07
    17

    Tuesday Sep 18, 2007

    Read More
  • 09.11.07
    20

    Tuesday Sep 11, 2007

    Even though I really don't do anything, I bought a notebook recently …
  • 09.03.07
    24

    Monday Sep 03, 2007

    Huh. You miss all sorts of things when you're out in Real Life.
  • 07.19.07
    11

    Thursday Jul 19, 2007

    I, too, am leaving the internet for Harry Potter weekend, starting ri…
  • 04.19.07
    34

    Thursday Apr 19, 2007

    Well, so much for sleep tonight. I think, starting tomorrow, I sh…
  • 04.11.07
    20

    Wednesday Apr 11, 2007

    I really don't like the new layout, here. I know it doesn't matter. I…
  • 04.03.07
    31

    Tuesday Apr 03, 2007

    Oh, God. April. Stop it. I can't deal with all these tears, and hea…
  • 03.13.07
    33

    Tuesday Mar 13, 2007

    You know what's really great? Not losing my fucking team! (KDKA) P…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
6
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,598 SuicideGirls
  • 1,116,465 followers
  • 14,938,177 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,438,131 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo