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jude_star

Yokohama (it's where I call home)

Member Since 2006

Followers 4 Following 7

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Wednesday Feb 01, 2006

Feb 1, 2006
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I was reading someone else's journal recently about what they had accomplished in their life and how they were disappointed in the direction that their life was heading, which seems to be almost everyone. My confession is that I am currently dating a girl who I know will never committ to me. We've been together for just over two and a half years now and I know that things are not going to improve. Don't get the wrong impression however. I love her. I want to be around her all the time, infact I'm crazy about her, I just know that there is no future to our relationship. Back in June she broke up with me because she realized this, but then decided that while the relationship may not turn into something truely lasting, that she could still benefit from having me around. Like the coward that I am I decided to get back together only days after braking up. Now its February and for the past few months I have always felt like I've been a burden to her. I worry however that I am perhaps jumping the gun thinking that my relationship is simply a typical teenage relationship that will die off as soon as more serious decisions, namely commitments, must be made. I hate the way I feel right now: If I stay I feel guilty that I am only going to hurt Laura and Myself more, but if go then I feel the sting of the closing of a relationship. The worst part about the whole thing is that we get along fine and I know that we love each other. Why does this always have to happen?-these seemingly impossible, catch 22 kind of choices. It seems like you can only lose. Any encouragement or thought from anyone?

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