IT'S now evident that I will not be able to keep up this breakneck blogging pace forever, and I have no intention of burdening you all with yet more pictures of my dogs or token gesture entries such as:
It's cloudy today. I'm sad.
TO this end, I've had to meditate on alternate ways of maintaining my meager beginnings of momentum here while at the same time avoiding the above referenced fate.
Case in point: Today. Lots of shit to do and little time to irrigate this field with my ever flowing stream of consciousness. What to do? What to do?
I SUPPOSE if all else fails there is always plagiarism. Well, it's not techincally plagiarism if you're plagiarizing yourself. Anyway...
THE recent Oscar telecast's "Corpse Parade" (you know, their annual montage of the past year's deceased celebs set to Adagio for Strings or some other weepy shit) jogged my memory of something I wrote back in 2003 in anticipation of that year's Corpse Parade. A friend had asked me for my thoughts on who my favorite celeb corpse was for that year, and here were my thoughts:
As no A-list celeb died by way of autoerotic asphyxiation this year, I'm sure most of you will be jumping on the John Ritter bandwagon with reckless abandon. However, before you cast your vote for the late Jack Tripper, I feel compelled to remind you all that Jonathan Brandis is no longer with us. Although Brandis' body of work is not (and, consequent to his death, will never be) as extensive as John Ritter's-I submit that a case can be made for his candidacy.
In endorsing Mr. Brandis as "favorite deceased celebrity of 2003" my first order of business, of course, is to attack the competition. To this end, I ask you all, "was John Ritter really that great?" I know you all THINK you loved Threes' Company, but did you really? Let me point out that most of you were 12 years old when the show enjoyed its greatest success-a time when the simple parameters of your television judgment were "better or worse than What's Happenin'." Furthermore, I for one didn't appreciate the whole "playing a straight guy making believe he was gay" thing. As Mr. Ritter was clearly a gay man making believe he was straight, this cruel irony inflicted severe emotional trauma on the subconscious minds of millions and millions of children. And, yes, I know he was married. So was Michael Jackson. I'm sure this fact doesn't make Macauley Culkin feel any better.
Then there is Jonathan Gregory Brandis, known to most of his friends as "the J-man" or simply "Jon". Born in Danbury, Connecticut, to Greg and Mary, Jonathan Brandis began his career at age 5, acting in television commercials. He appeared in small parts in several films and TV shows before his first starring role in the 1990 film NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter. And what a role it was. Slighted by the Academy despite his remarkable performance, who among us can forget his subtextual communication with the audience as he joined forces with Atreyu to save Fantasia from Xayide? Since then he also starred in the blockbuster film Ladybugs (1992), where, despite his young age and relative inexperience, he held his own against the likes of Rodney Dangerfield and Jacke Harris. Most recently, Brandis could be seen in Steven Spielberg's Seaquest DSV, where he starred opposite Roy Scheider and an animatroinic dolphin.
Legend holds that Alexander the Great wept at the edge of the world because there were no kingdoms left to conquer. Jonathan Brandis, confronted with a similar fate, took his own life on November 12, 2003. Like River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain before him, we can only dream how brightly his star might have shined. Shine on J-man. Shine-on.
AND there you have it. Today's entry without a moment's recent original thought. What? You don't like it? Well then fuck you you finicky jagoff, here's another picture of my dogs:
THIS is why I have no good socks.
It's cloudy today. I'm sad.
TO this end, I've had to meditate on alternate ways of maintaining my meager beginnings of momentum here while at the same time avoiding the above referenced fate.
Case in point: Today. Lots of shit to do and little time to irrigate this field with my ever flowing stream of consciousness. What to do? What to do?
I SUPPOSE if all else fails there is always plagiarism. Well, it's not techincally plagiarism if you're plagiarizing yourself. Anyway...
THE recent Oscar telecast's "Corpse Parade" (you know, their annual montage of the past year's deceased celebs set to Adagio for Strings or some other weepy shit) jogged my memory of something I wrote back in 2003 in anticipation of that year's Corpse Parade. A friend had asked me for my thoughts on who my favorite celeb corpse was for that year, and here were my thoughts:
As no A-list celeb died by way of autoerotic asphyxiation this year, I'm sure most of you will be jumping on the John Ritter bandwagon with reckless abandon. However, before you cast your vote for the late Jack Tripper, I feel compelled to remind you all that Jonathan Brandis is no longer with us. Although Brandis' body of work is not (and, consequent to his death, will never be) as extensive as John Ritter's-I submit that a case can be made for his candidacy.
In endorsing Mr. Brandis as "favorite deceased celebrity of 2003" my first order of business, of course, is to attack the competition. To this end, I ask you all, "was John Ritter really that great?" I know you all THINK you loved Threes' Company, but did you really? Let me point out that most of you were 12 years old when the show enjoyed its greatest success-a time when the simple parameters of your television judgment were "better or worse than What's Happenin'." Furthermore, I for one didn't appreciate the whole "playing a straight guy making believe he was gay" thing. As Mr. Ritter was clearly a gay man making believe he was straight, this cruel irony inflicted severe emotional trauma on the subconscious minds of millions and millions of children. And, yes, I know he was married. So was Michael Jackson. I'm sure this fact doesn't make Macauley Culkin feel any better.
Then there is Jonathan Gregory Brandis, known to most of his friends as "the J-man" or simply "Jon". Born in Danbury, Connecticut, to Greg and Mary, Jonathan Brandis began his career at age 5, acting in television commercials. He appeared in small parts in several films and TV shows before his first starring role in the 1990 film NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter. And what a role it was. Slighted by the Academy despite his remarkable performance, who among us can forget his subtextual communication with the audience as he joined forces with Atreyu to save Fantasia from Xayide? Since then he also starred in the blockbuster film Ladybugs (1992), where, despite his young age and relative inexperience, he held his own against the likes of Rodney Dangerfield and Jacke Harris. Most recently, Brandis could be seen in Steven Spielberg's Seaquest DSV, where he starred opposite Roy Scheider and an animatroinic dolphin.
Legend holds that Alexander the Great wept at the edge of the world because there were no kingdoms left to conquer. Jonathan Brandis, confronted with a similar fate, took his own life on November 12, 2003. Like River Phoenix and Kurt Cobain before him, we can only dream how brightly his star might have shined. Shine on J-man. Shine-on.
AND there you have it. Today's entry without a moment's recent original thought. What? You don't like it? Well then fuck you you finicky jagoff, here's another picture of my dogs:
THIS is why I have no good socks.
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hehe