They say money can't buy happiness. To allude to that, you just have more opportunities to purchase more troubles.
Few years back I had lost almost everything. I was hopeless. I had to detach myself from the ones who would draw me back to my addictions and I had only a few assets. I sacrificed living in my apartment to have the finances to go to hair school. My first semester at Aveda Institute I was living in my car. I would commute an hour and half to go to school. I delivered pizza for a living. I spent my nights sleeping in my car in a random parking lot or in a truck stop. I wasn't fighting for a dream. I was fighting for hope.
A teacher approached me in class and asked if I was doing well. I looked her in eye and told here had this desire to become the next Paul Mitchell, Bruno Mascalo, or Angus Mitchell. I just hope to see the next day. The teacher looked at me and told me to stop with the pitty party. She grabbed my hand and said, "they desire, but you are one of the greats."
I've lost site in who am. I've allowed my emotions and what people think of me, stop my right to just be me.
I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I do take things for granted. I allow my weaknesses to get the best of me. I allow people to walk all over me. I've given ones false hope. I've broken hearts. I've frustrated people. I've made people sad and mad. But, I will always make amends to make things better.
Every morning before school I sat in this spot where I took this picture dreaming of what I desired my life to turn out to be. I ate a bagel and drank a cup of water. To say that I would have ever thought I would have the ability to do what I'm doing now, I would have never imagined.
I have the finances to do what I please. But I'm comfortable knowing that the position where I was before I feel into my financial stability, I was happy. Even though I'm still injured, I have a shop I can go back to, I still have clientele, and I have a roof over my head when my day is done.
I deserve the best. And I will continue to fight for it. I don't want to wake up anymore knowing that I wish I wouldn't have awoken.
I'm publicly admitting this because in not coward. This past month, I've drank myself to sleep. I've became numb to myself being happy and killing myself to see others happy. Giving advice, When I should be living by it. I've started doing cocaine again and it sucks. Because it's something I've hide from everyone. Why am I saying this, because I want help. If SG is a community like they claim it is, will see.
