jpuddin76

I'd give a 21 gun shot salute...with the toy rifle that you bought me, but it won't shoot.





Rumor has it that I will be leaving Iraq soon. I am viewing this with mixed emotions. I feel like I should be ecstatic but I am almost dreading it. Make no mistake, I miss and love my wife, and want nothing more than to come back to her (that isn't the problem). The problem is I just don't feel like I belong to society anymore. It makes me never want to leave my house, it keeps me from really getting to know or interact with anyone outside of a precious few. The more I go out (deployments) the more I feel this way. I have always felt I was different from my peers on every level, not better than, just different. Now I don't even feel like I'm the same species anymore, I feel like I am stuck in National Geographic mode (observe but don't interact). I write and rewrite these things but they always fall short of what I want to say. If we were having this conversation in real life, this would be the point where I walk away, shaking my head and talking to my shoes. I love you Amanda, be safe. I'll be home soon.