I just want to feel loved. I know there are people around me that love me but I don't really feel it. I don't know why. Maybe I want to much? Maybe I'm just not grateful for what I do have? I don't know....maybe. It is so hard for me to be happy. I know there are things I can do that would make a big difference, small things, but they are so hard for me to do too. It's like I LOVE to be miserable. I find the quickest way to make anything going good in my life horrible. WHY DO I DO THIS!!!! I feel so alone, even though I know I'm not. I feel like such a failure. Some days I just want to give up. Some days I don't even know why I bother getting out of bed. I can't seem to get these negative thoughts out of my head. I dwell on the past. The people I miss. The way things "could have been" "if only".....
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