I am feeling somewhat depressed right now! Sometimes I feel like people cannot relate to me and I cannot relate to them. I sometimes keep asking myself "What the hell is wrong with me?" It's like everytime I try to interact with people I keep running into a brick wall. I have never done anything to make people feel uncomfortable nor have I ever backstabbed or lied to anybody. Sometimes I get the feeling that there are those who view me wrongly and think that I am simply not "cool" or "hip" enough or whatever. I am too old to put up with such petty bullshit.
I know I am not perfect nor am I a pro at social interactions but I do try. I also know I have said some dumb things before but I am human for fuck's sake. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Anybody who has ever bothered to get to know me knows this. You are not going to get some bullshit. What you get from me is real. Sometimes I admit I get too nice for my own good but many people interpret this as a weakness and that they can push me over. They are wrong! Anybody who messes with me can expect to be messed with back! My years and experience has taught me not to deal with other people's bullshit. Also, remember that Karma has a way to bite back when you mess with it as well.
The reason for having an "underground", subculture or what have you is for people like myself to be with other people to relate to and not be subjected to status symbols or the rules of being conventional. It seems like that ideal has been muddled in the 20 odd years I have been involved with it. I am not giving up in anyway. It's too late for me. It's too much a part of who I am. I don't need to be in a category or be a part of a social clique. Though I do want friends. People who can genuinely relate to me and I to them. Those who are going to like me for being me. Including my silly quirks! I just want to go out and enjoy myself and not have to worry about who is talking crap behind my back or whatever.
With that been said, I will be alright. I suppose I should not make so much out of what people think of me. One of my quirks is that I do not hide my emotions very well. However, it doesn't mean that I should have to hide who I am either!
I know I am not perfect nor am I a pro at social interactions but I do try. I also know I have said some dumb things before but I am human for fuck's sake. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Anybody who has ever bothered to get to know me knows this. You are not going to get some bullshit. What you get from me is real. Sometimes I admit I get too nice for my own good but many people interpret this as a weakness and that they can push me over. They are wrong! Anybody who messes with me can expect to be messed with back! My years and experience has taught me not to deal with other people's bullshit. Also, remember that Karma has a way to bite back when you mess with it as well.
The reason for having an "underground", subculture or what have you is for people like myself to be with other people to relate to and not be subjected to status symbols or the rules of being conventional. It seems like that ideal has been muddled in the 20 odd years I have been involved with it. I am not giving up in anyway. It's too late for me. It's too much a part of who I am. I don't need to be in a category or be a part of a social clique. Though I do want friends. People who can genuinely relate to me and I to them. Those who are going to like me for being me. Including my silly quirks! I just want to go out and enjoy myself and not have to worry about who is talking crap behind my back or whatever.
With that been said, I will be alright. I suppose I should not make so much out of what people think of me. One of my quirks is that I do not hide my emotions very well. However, it doesn't mean that I should have to hide who I am either!
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So tell me how you are doing? What have you been up too? I missed your cute ass. I hope things are going well for you.. Happy titalating thursday babaycakes!