i don't think i've written anything worth reading for a while. this scares the fuck out of me: this is the nightmare where i wake up with no tongue and a mouthful of blood.
i've got this ongoing fight with the real world. i am not interesting in the real world - that's pretty apparent to anyone that knows me. i want to be firing a wood kiln in the desert, or listening and watching waves on the coast, or eating thai food with hungry friends. i do not want a shitty job that requires me to wear a name tag and run a cash register. i have problems with this. some people would get it, and agree, and bitch about jobs and the mundane, and others would say that i am a crybaby and should live in the real world. i could care less about either. what i need is to remember that it doesn't matter whether i am stoking a kiln under the stars or punching keys under floro lights: everything is, i am, and that's enough.
i've got this ongoing fight with the real world. i am not interesting in the real world - that's pretty apparent to anyone that knows me. i want to be firing a wood kiln in the desert, or listening and watching waves on the coast, or eating thai food with hungry friends. i do not want a shitty job that requires me to wear a name tag and run a cash register. i have problems with this. some people would get it, and agree, and bitch about jobs and the mundane, and others would say that i am a crybaby and should live in the real world. i could care less about either. what i need is to remember that it doesn't matter whether i am stoking a kiln under the stars or punching keys under floro lights: everything is, i am, and that's enough.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
swingkitten:
that was surprisingly uplifting.
lilyluv:
i find myself in the same mind fuck fairly often...life's hard, but it's so easy...just keep taking breaths... that's all really. sounds like your coming to that realization as well. i still have to constantly remind myself to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. i agree with skruffy that it really is about finding that balance between "real" life and our ideal life...but coming to terms with that can really harsh your mellow, man.