joyfuldemise

I JUST GOT THE NET HOOKED UP AT HOME!

I have not had a net hook-up since April and I have not had cable TV for three years now (still don't). I don't really hear well enough to like listening to the radio. So basically, I've been living under a rock. I'm pretty damn proud of myself for not going absolutely apeshit all by myself...
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You know it's time to look for a new job when even sex toys don't make the day any better. So, naturally, that's my project starting today (job hunting, not sex toys). For your amusement, I will first entertain you with the opening lines of last night's staff meeting:

"Let us first be clear on one thing and one thing only: In our world, only...
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Last night around ten pm I'd finally had it with the boss. She said something particularly atrocious, so I pulled her aside and went on a semi-offensive and ill-advised rant. It was something about how she was not employing me as a favour; we had entered into what should be a mutually beneficial business agreement and that if she felt I worked there due to...
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Every so often, you hear a sentance and realize that, given its originality and given the vastness of the English language, that sentance has probably never before been uttered. A perfect example would be the one that I just heard:

"So, naturally, I thought: what a waste of a dead monkey!"

I just got MISTAKEN FOR A BOY!

I'm over at my parents' place hanging out with my brother and my parents are having a jam session tonight. One of my dad's friends just walked through the kitchen, nodded at the two of us and said 'Gentlemen"! Alastair almost fell off his chair laughing. He salvaged it nicely by saying "Holy crap! Is he blind or...
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Weird day at work today. I set the alarm early to give myself plenty of time to make myself presentable, and then ended up not even brushing my hair. Within the first five minutes of work, I splashed coffee cream all over my face, hair and the front of my shirt. It was the perfect porno cum shot. I could not have done that if...
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So, Char1es filled in some of my profile for me. Betcha can't guess which ones he wrote! I'll have to go through and fill in my own later, but I'll leave it for right now; some of them are pretty damn funny. In fact, maybe I should have stolen the credit and leeched off of his wittiness. Oh well.

Testing...Testing...1,2,3...

Finally, my own account! Thank you, Char1es! Of course, now this means I'll have to get the net at home unless he intends to let me stay indefinitly in front of his computer, bringing me food from time to time so I don't waste away. Yes, terrifying as it is, I have not had net access since I moved in April. Looks like I'll...
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