You know it's time to look for a new job when even sex toys don't make the day any better. So, naturally, that's my project starting today (job hunting, not sex toys). For your amusement, I will first entertain you with the opening lines of last night's staff meeting:
"Let us first be clear on one thing and one thing only: In our world, only women help women."
Ah, work sweet work. Where it's not "Hi, how are you" but "How high are you?", where the smiles are not cheap but the vasectomies are free.
Speaking of sex toys,though...Went to a toy party on Saturday. It was great to have a giggly girls' night. I was a bit mystified by the myriad of flavoured stuff, though. I don't like the idea of artificial flavours in general and when it comes to sex, it just seems creepy. I don't even like eating veggie burgers because I think that veggies should taste like veggies and burgers should taste like carcasses. I'm not morally opposed or anything stupid like that, I just personally find it disorienting. So natually, the idea of strawberry flavoured lubricant is just WAAAY the hell out of left field as far as I'm concerned. It's probably because I'm just so damn food obsessed that I would get distracted. Still, cocks are not supposed to taste like strawberries; STRAWBERRIES are supposed to taste like strawberries. I have never felt the compulsion to go to bed with a fruit basket. I happen to like the way that people taste and smell. Don't get me wrong-I'm all for cleanliness and good hygiene (Yes, it's true that Napoleon once wrote to Josephine "Do not bathe, I'm on my way home", but that was long before oral sex was popularized), but I don't want them artificially flavoured: that's for bubblegum, not coitus. Am I weird?
Apropos of nothing, I'm going down to get new body jewellry today to help with my professional image (or lack thereof). I will try very, very hard not to spend my college fund on vintage stuff down at Divine. Of course, not spending my college fund is getting harder what with my mother trying to convince me to go travelling instead. Isn't she supposed to tell me to go to school, marry a doctor and have lots of beautiful babies? Don't get me wrong-I love my mom all the more for being non-traditional, but I don't know whether or not she's right in this case. I would love to go to Spain or France, though. I'm even still thinking about teaching English overseas. It's an idea I've had in the back of my head since I was very, very young. I'd pretty much dismissed it, but lately it keeps popping back into my head. To be perfectly honest, the only thing keeping me here right now is the people. I have so many incredible people in my life and I'm not sure I could give that up-at least not right away. Maybe I should be pushing myself more, but I'm really happy right now and I don't take that for granted as much as I used to. It's not a reason to bum around like this for the next twenty years, but I'm not ready to brush it off either. I'll figure it out eventually,I guess.
"Let us first be clear on one thing and one thing only: In our world, only women help women."
Ah, work sweet work. Where it's not "Hi, how are you" but "How high are you?", where the smiles are not cheap but the vasectomies are free.
Speaking of sex toys,though...Went to a toy party on Saturday. It was great to have a giggly girls' night. I was a bit mystified by the myriad of flavoured stuff, though. I don't like the idea of artificial flavours in general and when it comes to sex, it just seems creepy. I don't even like eating veggie burgers because I think that veggies should taste like veggies and burgers should taste like carcasses. I'm not morally opposed or anything stupid like that, I just personally find it disorienting. So natually, the idea of strawberry flavoured lubricant is just WAAAY the hell out of left field as far as I'm concerned. It's probably because I'm just so damn food obsessed that I would get distracted. Still, cocks are not supposed to taste like strawberries; STRAWBERRIES are supposed to taste like strawberries. I have never felt the compulsion to go to bed with a fruit basket. I happen to like the way that people taste and smell. Don't get me wrong-I'm all for cleanliness and good hygiene (Yes, it's true that Napoleon once wrote to Josephine "Do not bathe, I'm on my way home", but that was long before oral sex was popularized), but I don't want them artificially flavoured: that's for bubblegum, not coitus. Am I weird?
Apropos of nothing, I'm going down to get new body jewellry today to help with my professional image (or lack thereof). I will try very, very hard not to spend my college fund on vintage stuff down at Divine. Of course, not spending my college fund is getting harder what with my mother trying to convince me to go travelling instead. Isn't she supposed to tell me to go to school, marry a doctor and have lots of beautiful babies? Don't get me wrong-I love my mom all the more for being non-traditional, but I don't know whether or not she's right in this case. I would love to go to Spain or France, though. I'm even still thinking about teaching English overseas. It's an idea I've had in the back of my head since I was very, very young. I'd pretty much dismissed it, but lately it keeps popping back into my head. To be perfectly honest, the only thing keeping me here right now is the people. I have so many incredible people in my life and I'm not sure I could give that up-at least not right away. Maybe I should be pushing myself more, but I'm really happy right now and I don't take that for granted as much as I used to. It's not a reason to bum around like this for the next twenty years, but I'm not ready to brush it off either. I'll figure it out eventually,I guess.
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if you ever have an idea, just let me know. i rarely have plans, other than this weekend.
and have someone put my lipstick on. ha!