jovana

visit with grandma is over. i dunno why family stresses me out so much, i think i prefer coming without my father, his persona just irritates me. he says i am just a snob but i tend to think that i just have manners and know how one ought to act especially around old people like my grandma who are very set in their ways. (i.e. don't crack rude tasteless jokes or make trashy disparaging remarks...)but he will never learn i suppose...and it is upsetting to my grandmother. oy vey. i really love my grandma tho and its hard everytime i leave knowing it may be the last time i see her. i also notice that she is not slipping so much in health but moreso mentally. i think that she is really just very very depressed and the depression is affecting how she feels. my dad asked me to try to make it out once a month or so now that i (will)live so close and i will definatly try my best. i noticed that even after just a day of having us here she perked up a bit....it musy get so lonely living how she does. I cannot imagine having a life that consisted of sitting in my house alone day in and day out every day all day long with a visitor maybe once or twice a week. i wish she had friends in the area, or at least something that got her out interacting with other people in her community. sad. she was also very nice and gave me another 10,000. i think this is becoming a trend...everytime i visit i come home with 10,000 checks. i will probably invest this money unlike the last bunch which was spent on traveling and 2,000 cell phone bills. tomarrow morning i head home and right after i get in i am finishing my left foot. i am excited. tomarrow i also get to talk to *someone* again. its been almost 3 days and i am going insane with missing. I move in 5 days and this will be something of a bittersweet week. i can only hope that everything goes smoothly.